


Singing Praises

by KagedBird



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual growth and self love because we love to see it, F/F, F/M, Incredibly slow start to get out of Ruins just FYI, Kindness soul - Freeform, Lots of cute cliche shit later, Multi, Named Reader, No 'Toriel / Sans is making me insecure' bull we die like men, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is a singer because I am lol, References to Depression, Self Insert, Songfic, Writing for Fun, attempted slow burn, reader perspective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagedBird/pseuds/KagedBird
Summary: With no memory of how you fell down here, trying to hold on to your sanity of there actually being Monsters on this earth, and deal with magical bullshit, time Underground feels like another world entirely. How will you fair, deep down under? Will you crack? Or... will you be exactly what these creatures need to be free?Join me in the adventure of me writing myself in the Underground for fun, in a "Reader" format. Writing is just for fun in my personal time. No set update schedule.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, to be added
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. Underground Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Howdy, I'm KagedBird. I keep teasing a lot about Precious People lately, but I haven't really wanted to step back into it just yet. I have a large chunk of maybe three chapters written, but it's not where I want the story to start from, just a random point I had wanted to retell (since I lost the original piece somewhere), so it'll be a while yet before I can get to that.
> 
> Until then, if I ever do, I wanted to write something fun! It's really just been like a creative writing class, just going at it for hours and days. I've actually written 48 pages worth of fanfiction for this all ready, and I only get tired when I need to sleep, haha. It's been really nice having this amount of drive after so long. Depression sucks, you know?
> 
> Anyways, all I wanted to say was, I hope you enjoy! I've been having fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy my take on Undertale too.
> 
> Stay safe, much love, and don't kill, and don't be killed, okay?

Waking up surrounded by a flowery smell was not exactly what you had in mind when you came to.

It took a moment to actively wake up. Your head was pounding like you shotgunned three shots of vodka and a whole bottle of champagne, and you groaned quietly. Your throat was parched and gravelly, leaving you trying to clear it and licking your dry lips. Opening your eyes was certainly a chore to boot.

_ ‘Who talked me into drinking? And why the hell does it smell like I’ve been covered in perfume?’ _

Sitting up was a task, but it came quick when your hand brushed over something you were laying on that didn’t feel like a bed. Biting back a yelp, you look down too see-

Giant yellow flowers. Just… a huge patch of flowers.

A quick glance around the “room” told you you were inside a cave system. Looking up and squinting- how the hell was the light so bright in this one spot with the hole being  _ that high _ \- you summarized you… must have fallen down.  _ ‘Or was I pushed? What happened?’ _ You grunted and checked your body for any injuries- surprisingly only having a minor bruise on your ass and a headache- when you quickly checked your black jumpsuits’ pockets.

_ ‘Phone- where’s my- where-?!’ _ Panicking you patted yourself down, and quickly looked around the room. You couldn’t find your very expensive rectangle anywhere, causing your heart rate to jump.

_ ‘Don’t- don’t panic- it’s fine. It’s  _ fine. _ You just fell down a… large cavern, landed on flowers- fucking  _ survived _ \- you can do without it.’ _ You tried counting to ten and back down again, hands shaking.

It was hard to control a panic attack in general, but you felt lost without your phone, even if it didn’t work anymore from the impact. Just holding it brought you reassurances, comforted you. You heard somewhere on the internet that it was caused by trauma of some kind- really, what wasn’t and what didn’t you have nowadays from trauma- but it brought you close to tears thinking you couldn’t even  _ try _ to call for anyone.

Well. Assuming you  _ had _ anyone anymore.

You had recently moved to a new area, escaping…. A lot of bad shit. You ended up finding a really nice, “cheap” place to rent. It was perfect. You could hermit in there, no one yelled at you. No one asked when you were going to come out of your room. You could just  _ do it _ whenever you pleased. You could wear your underwear- or, heavens,  _ nothing _ \- if you wanted.

But it certainly had been lonely.

Doing art and singing commissions certainly took up your free time. You’d long since lost a few friends for it, having always cancelled or needing to reschedule to work more. Many of your “friends” claimed it wasn’t even real work. That you needed to have a job outside in order for the income you made to be  _ real. _

Which, honestly, what the fuck. Anyone with disabilities would punch them in the throat if they could for that kind of talk.

You had a few friends left you could try to call, but never really got their actual numbers, just through Discord. You doubted you had cell service down here to try.

Sighing, you stood from the ground and dusted yourself off. No use crying over… lost phones. Your heart felt heavy.

**_Kick-_ **

You jumped slightly ass your boot clad foot tapped something hard, sending it a little ways in the dirt outside your flower patch. Jumping for it, you snatched it from the ground and nearly started crying.

Your phone!! It wasn’t even cracked.

“Fuck you’re durable,” you chuckled, turning on the screen.

2020, November 5th. 11:20 pm.

“Huh,” you muttered, swiping the screen to see your apps. “Still my birthday. So, what was I doing out here?”

You go through anything you can find- your memos app that deleted notes (even though it  _ said _ it was saving them), your emails, Twitter, Discord, Tumblr. Nothing was really working or giving you any information unfortunately. The good side was that you had at least 90% battery, and so long as you didn’t leave it on, it would take a while to drain. Your phone was cool like that.

*ITEM GAINED: Phone.

You hummed, placing your phone in your pocket, and leaned back slightly with your hands on your hips. Cracking your neck, back, elbows, and fingers, you felt slightly refreshed.

“Still don’t know how I got here, but maybe it’s better to not know?” You talked out loud, walking forward. There seemed to be a door or open way at the end of this…. Oddly shaped cavern. Almost man made.

You stalled, breathing short and quiet.

Man made? Was someone living down here? That’s impossible. There’s no way. There was at least a… something foot drop from the ceiling! A hundred- no, three hundred?

You put your hand to your forehead and groaned. If there was someone living down here, maybe they could help? You were sure they had people falling down all the time. That’s why those flowers were there, right?

...You bite back the bile from the sickening thought of  _ why _ they had to be put there.

“Let’s just… get going.” You grumble, trudging forward. Only way out of here is up, right? Gotta get going sooner or later.

.

..

…

….

  
  


_ “How… interesting.” _


	2. Friendships and Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your best friend, and the neighborhood goat mom.

Wiping your eyes as you entered the next room, you glanced around, confused. Why was it so dark? There was a single light- you glanced up, half expecting a stage light- shining down on a flower-less patch of grass.

Or. You thought it had been flower-less.

There was a single flower there. Taller than the ones in the other room.

Smiling.

“Nope,” you called out, turning around. “No. Not today. I refuse.”

You heard a chuckle and whipped around, slamming your back against the wall. The flower swayed its fat head side to side,  _ grinning. _

“Golly! That’s certainly no way to greet someone.” It spoke. You were losing your mind.

You chuckled. It started off quiet before getting louder and louder, near hysterical. The flower quirked a brow- a  _ flower  _ had  _ quirked _ an  _ eyebrow- _ and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Tears covered your cheeks before you knew it, your throat tightening from dehydration. It choked your all ready dying down laughter, and you realized you were shaking.

“Goodness, I don’t know what I said was so funny~! Are you all right there?” It seemed to be frowning now, peering up at you from its spot. “Come on closer, maybe I can help!”

Your throat refused to let you speak, so you settled for shaking your head and curling up into a ball. When had you sunk to the floor? Didn’t matter. You could hardly think from shaking so hard.

You totally died from that fall. No wonder there hadn’t been any major injuries. No wonder you found your phone. No wonder it was still your birthday. Time doesn’t matter to a dead person. Now your mind was going crazy, conjuring up creatures like a talking fucking flower.

“Are you all right?” You screamed, slamming yourself against the wall. It had come closer to you. The  **flower** was closer to you. “Geez, calm down! You’re gonna hurt yourself!”

There was something different to the tone of voice that had you focusing on regulating your breathing. It wasn’t kind. That voice reminded you of people you wanted to forget. One that promised punishment if you didn’t listen. You shuddered and curled in on yourself, burying your face in your arms to quell your whimpers and cries.

“There ya go~! Starting to feel any better?” It didn’t wait for a nod, but maybe it didn’t expect you to. “Listen, how about you relax while I tell you where you are?”

“In hell?” You choked out, half joking, half not. The flower laughed. It wasn’t a good laugh. It made your skin crawl. This wasn’t helping.

“Goodness no! You sure are funny,” The flower winked- what the fuck- before swaying side to side. “No silly, this is the Underground! You must have fallen and hit your head hard, huh?”

Headache the size of Alabama aside, you were certainly sure your brain must have concaved on the fall.

“My name is Flowey, Flowey the Flower! And since you’re new to the Underground, you should be taught how things are done down here!” It wiggled its stem in a… shrugging motion? “Guess little ol’ me will have to do!”

You rubbed the back of your throbbing head, watching the flower- Flowey- duck into the dirt and move back to its original spot in the grass. Must like the “sunshine”...?

You took a moment to settle yourself before standing slowly. No need to make your head feel even worse than before, especially without medicine. You wished you had your clutch purse, but unfortunately you hadn’t seen it in the room.

Walking slowly to the- to Flowey- who seemed to be getting a little impatient, you cleared your throat and stood in front of it. Him? She?

“Uh,” you cleared your throat again, “So uh. What do I need to know?”

“Let me show ya! Ready~? Let’s go!”

That was about all the warning you got before everything went black.

Literally. The room dropped in colour before a shining green light appeared before you- in you? Around you?- and you could see Flowey ahead, pure white.

“See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!” You tried to move, and to your surprise, the heart- SOUL?- moved along with you. It  _ was _ you. You are it. You were starting to get weird Persona vibes. “Your SOUL starts off weak, but can grow stronger if you gain a lot of LV.”

“LV?” You called out. Your voice sounded like it echoed on forever. It was certainly a strange feeling. “Like a level? You’re talking like this is a video game.”

Flowey sent you a dry look- probably for interrupting, whoops- before chuckling. “You could say that I suppose. It’s just to make things simpler to understand. But no silly~!” They winked, sticking out their tongue. “LV stands for LOVE! You want some LOVE don’t you?”

Your brain throbbed. Something… wasn’t right. Your pulse quickened, and the SOUL around you pulsated quietly in time. It felt like you were dissociating, but…

“Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!”

This wasn’t right. They weren’t safe. You were in danger. Your SOUL pulsed a little louder around you, leaving trails as you moved. There was a limit to where you could move around, and you felt trapped. Like a box where the lid wouldn’t open.

“Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white… ‘friendliness pellets.’”

Nope. No way. You weren’t here for that. Nuh uh.

The air around you was starting to solidify as you stepped back into the middle of your “box.” It felt tight, and ready to burst.

“Move around, catch as many as you can!”

You couldn’t move.

Your SOUL pulsed loudly, and-

_ Tink- tink tink-! _

You opened your eyes, having closed them to brace for impact, to see an almost see through wall of green in front of you. You felt as if it was attached to your arm, and if you wanted to, you could turn it around you. Your feet refused to move from the spot though. What was happening?

“Oh golly! I forgot about you green SOULs,” Flowey called out. It was harder to see past your wall of green, but they… didn’t look happy.

Or friendly.

“Okay, so the best option for you to catch the friendliness pellets is to turn your shield around.” Flowey tilted their head, almost in a “thinking” motion. “You can do that, right?”

“U-uh… yeah. But I don’t-”

“Great! Make sure you catch them this time all right?”

“I really don’t like-”

_ Tink- tink tink-! _

“Hey. Buddy. You didn’t turn around.” The voice coming out of the flower was damn near demonic. You Really didn’t like this.

“I was trying to tell you, I don’t like this,” You called out, trembling a bit. “I don’t want any LOVE. I’m fine.”

They were silent for a moment, staring you down. And then they started to laugh.

Boy, you thought your laugh was hysterical.

This flower’s laugh felt like you committed a sin and that you were about to die. If what they said was the truth and that you weren’t all ready dead.

“Hehehe, hahahahaha…” They finally trailed off, their face screwed in a fashion that had your stomach roiling. Dripping with black like dark that spiked in some places; their eyes blank with only a thin eye slit. “Ahh. You know what’s going on here, don’t you?”

What.

“You just wanted to see me suffer.”

The.

“Friendliness pellets” surrounded you in a giant circle, twirling in place, leaving you no chance to block them all with your shield.

Fuck.

“ **Die.** ”

They were closing in. You turned your shield around constantly, hoping to find some point, any point, that you could block them all. You cried out, hoping against hope, that you’d be all right-!

*HOPE restored.

What.

Even Flowey looked as confused as you were. Everything went still.

A giant flame orb suspended near Flowey before punting him straight out of the ground and sending him far against the wall in the cavern. You think. You couldn’t see outside this range of vision.

A tall, entirely white and black form of a… person?? Entered where Flowey left. They had the shape of a goat head, but a humanoid-like formed body; two legged, two hands. They regarded Flowey’s direction with distaste.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor innocent youth…” The delightful soft tones soothed you. They turned to you, and smiled brightly. “Hello! Please do not be afraid, dear one. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. I pass through this place everyday to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come down here in a long time.”

“Human?” You really couldn’t stop yourself to ask. Obviously this Toriel and that flower weren’t human, but. That would insinuate there were  _ non-humans _ on earth. Were those conspiracy theories of alien creatures actually fucking real?

“Yes,” Toriel seemed surprised to hear you speak up, “You are a human, are you not?”

“Er, uh,” you flushed. She probably thought you hit your head  _ real  _ hard. You were starting to consider that factor more and more. “Yes, I am. But what... are you? If that’s okay to ask.”

They smiled again, nearly tittering like a grandmother who heard the latest gossip. “I am a Monster. You will find many of us living down here.”

“Monster?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “That’s a terrible way to describe yourself. You saved me didn’t you? I wouldn’t call that monstrous.”

They looked surprised again, before letting out a loud laugh. You couldn’t stop the flush on your cheeks. “Oh goodness, forgive this old lady.” Oh, well, that answered that. She held a hand- paw??- to her mouth and laughed into it. “I do not mean to embarrass you any. No, dear, our kind are genuinely called Monsters. We are a species outside humans.”

Your hands itched to move around your head to feel for blood at this point.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to be a bother,” you started, a bit flustered. “But uh. This is… real, right? I’m not dead back in that other room? I’m… having trouble feeling like…”

You trailed off the more and more concerned she started to look. You felt slightly ashamed for causing her worry. “Ah, uh, never mind. It’s fine.”

“Dear one,” she called to you, holding out her hand. You half expected those bullets or that fireball to come out. “You are most certainly alive, I can assure you that. Were you injured from your fall?”

“I, uh, have a bit of a bruise and a terrible headache,” you admitted, wishing you could scratch the back of your neck. Nervous habit. “I’m also a bit thirsty.”

“Well luckily I have the cure for all of those things.” She smiled brightly, and her hands became awash in a green glow, similar to your SOUL. You stood still as a warmth surrounded your being, causing you to shiver and sigh softly. Your headache began to ebb away, and the bruise on your rump faded too. “I’m afraid we’ll have to wait to get you your water though, as that is back at my house.”

“Your house?” You had so many questions. You think she could see the curiousity in your eyes, because she started laughing again. You flushed. “Sorry.”

“Please do not be ashamed. I am happy to answer any and all questions you may have.” Her smile was so gentle and genuine, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling in return. So contagious, being nice.

It felt like your SOUL pulsed around you, and you felt yourself just ready to burst with happiness. If you could move your hands, or move your torso at all, you’d be flapping and wiggling in joy. You couldn’t contain it. And apparently it was plain for Toriel to see too.

“You have such a wonderfully bright SOUL,” she sighed, a dream like smile on her face. “I am happy to see you so content. Please, follow me! I shall lead you through the Ruins.”

You could feel your SOUL start to go back inside where it belonged, held and contained in your body. You could still feel it inside, though. Like having it out for the first time brought it to mind if you focused at all on it. It thrummed happily. You felt fuzzy.

You smiled brightly and followed after Toriel, knowing one thing in the far recesses of your mind.

*You are filled with KINDNESS.


	3. Dangerous to Go Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning about monsters and the Ruins feels like a lot to handle.

Toriel was leading you through the halls of the Ruins carefully, giving you a bit of a tour of the place. You both passed a door that she opened by stepping on pressure points, and explained that the Ruins was filled with puzzles to divert any humans from getting through.

“We merely intend to keep our own kind safe,” she told you, “After all, not everyone has the best intentions.”

There was a look in her eyes that you couldn’t place when she said that. It kept you quiet and respectful.

“As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you.” She commented. You were in a new room with a training dummy at the far wall, but not much else other than another door.

“Like that flower monster back there?” You asked. She nodded and motioned to the training dummy.

“You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple.” She beamed at you. “When you encounter a monster, you will enter a FIGHT. While you are in a FIGHT, strike up a friendly conversation.”

You stared at her, deadpan as she merely smiled.

“A friendly conversation.” You repeated.

“Quite right! You will be stalling for time. I will come to resolve the conflict!” She took your hand and led you to the training dummy. “Practice talking to the dummy. I will stand close by.”

She moved off to stand in front of the doorway, and left you next to the dummy. You started questioning your life choices that led you to this point.

“Uh,” you gave a quick glance at Toriel, who gave you a thumbs up, before looking back at the dummy. “Hello?”

A familiar sensation of the room growing rapidly dark surrounded you, before your SOUL popped out once more. You weren’t pulsing in the same manner, and your shield wasn’t out, leaving you the ability to move. It felt nice to not be restricted.

You looked to the training dummy, and remember what you’re supposed to be doing.

“Right, uh,” you hesitate before clearing your still parched throat. “Nice weather we’re having…?”

…

…….

It’s a fucking training dummy, and also, wow, great conversation for a place that barely has any air flow.

The training dummy almost seemed like it was pitying you. You pouted.

“I’m not the best for conversations, all right?” You grumbled. It didn’t help that your voice was so scratchy.

Regardless, you heard Toriel call out to you in praise, and the encounter soon ended.

“Ah, very good! You are very good.” She smiled brightly like the sun had reached a noon peak, and motioned you to follow her into the next room.

The next room was much larger in size, trailing down into another area as well. You idly wondered how big the Ruins were, and how it remained unseen by human kind when the Monsters down here seemed to know you so well.

“There is a puzzle here in this room,” Toriel admitted, “I wonder if you can solve it?”

“I love puzzles!” You smiled in return. “I’ll do my best!” Toriel chuckled and motioned you to follow her along. You scanned the entirety of the room, though it was mostly barren. Light colouring on the floor, though some darker, a few vines on the walls.

You saw an upcoming sign in the middle of what seemed to be two chambers, but before you could read it, everything became dark.

Your SOUL popped out, and in front of you was-

A… a frog? It was so strange looking. Its large frog like head bobbled. On it’s upper chest were three markings, and just below that seemed to somehow be another face, hiding away almost underneath it.

“H-hello?” You called out, “Um. You’re.. very cute!”

You get the feeling it really didn’t know what you said, but it seemed to appreciate it anyhow.

Toriel soon came into view, and glared at the frog, who looked surprised and then ashamed as it slowly moved out of view. Toriel glared harder at it as the encounter ended.

She merely continued walking after seeing you still in tip top shape, and you took the chance to look at the sign.

_ ‘The western room is the eastern room’s blueprint.’ _ You read carefully, peering back into the other room. Blueprint?

“Maybe… the floor?” You mumbled, walking back. Sure enough, the flooring seemed to hold a weird pattern. You walked back to where Toriel was waiting patiently. Walking forward with her, you paused in slight horror at the amount of spikes on the floor.

“This is the puzzle, but…” She had a strained smile on her face before turning to you. “Here, take my hand for a moment.”

You took her giant paw like hand-  _ ‘God she could crush me and I would thank her,’ _ \- and she slowly led you through the spikes on the ground. The closer she got to them, they seemed to move down on their own. Sure enough to what you thought, the moving pattern followed the other room’s floor pattern to a T.

“Puzzles seem a little too dangerous right now,” Toriel spoke, giving you an apologetic glance, before heading forward. You looked back to the spikes and- with a quick glance at the doorway Toriel went through- you stepped close to the last set of spikes you had passed.

They went down as soon as your foot touched the edge of the plate.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned at Toriel’s call and left the room.

x

  
  


“Normally in this room, I test a human’s independence,” Toriel spoke softly next to you. “But I feel as though I can trust you to have that all ready!”

You smiled. “I would hope so at my age.”

Toriel paused, glancing over at you as you walked through the entirely way too long for no reason corridor. “May I ask how old you are?”

You don’t know how much time has passed since you last looked at your phone’s clock, but you hoped it was the same day at the very least. “I turned twenty four today. It’s my birthday, depending on the time.”

Toriel stopped and turned to you with the brightest smile you’d seen her share yet. Someone give you sunglasses. “My, isn’t this such a treat! Happiest of birthdays, dear one!”

“Heh, uh, thank you.” You cleared your throat, scratching the back of your head. The side shave and undercut felt nice under your fingers, letting you calm down a bit.

“Well this is certainly cause for celebration. I must admit, I was to leave you here alone for a little while to give you a surprise pie, but perhaps…” Toriel stroked her fluffy chin, and you had to cough slightly to hide your laugh. She was very cute.

“You wanted to get a head start, right?” You laid your hands on your lower back, giving it a small stretch. “I should be able to find your house okay, if you wanted to do that. I’d like to explore a bit more.”

“Oh, but…” Toriel looked nervous as she regarded you. “It’s dangerous to explore by yourself.”

Unbidden, the thoughts  _ ‘It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!’ _ fill your mind. You have to bite your lip to avoid smiling. You fail anyways.

“I have an idea!” Toriel digs into her pocket- her dress had pockets! How cool was that?- and brought out what looked like a brick. “Please accept this Cell Phone. If you have a need for anything, just call.”

You took it gratefully, seeing as your phone might be useless. But if they could get a cell signal, why not take it? “Thank you very much Toriel. Is it just a straight shot to your house then?”

“There are many puzzles up ahead, dear one, but I entrust you will be just fine.” She smiled at you and patted your head soft. Her paw felt like a comforter that just came out of the dryer, and she smelled like various sweets. It was nice.

“Until we meet later,” She called, waving to you and exiting first. “Be safe, all right?”

You waved to her and began fussing with the phone to figure it out. It was certainly an older model, and thick as a Nokia. But it was pretty simple. A button for call, and clicking that opened a list that simply had Toriel’s number.

You stowed it away in your other pocket for safe keeping.

*ITEM GAINED: Toriel’s Spare Phone.

With a small pat of your pocket, you set off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the rest, but that's just to keep the pacing set. Sorry about that, it'll get longer from here on out. :)


	4. Adventure Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to find all the things to explern.

Entering the new room without Toriel was like you were starting an adventure. You couldn’t hold back the smile on your face, and you didn’t try to. How exciting!

“Ribbit, ribbit,” A frog called out from your left as you walked by, hopping right up to you. “Excuse me, human. I have some advice about battling monsters.”

“Oh!” You stooped down to the creature's level, and nodded. “Please, I’d love to know.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” It croaked nearly as bad as you. “If you ACT a certain way or FIGHT until you almost defeat them… they might not want to battle you anymore. If a monster does not want to fight you anymore… Use some MERCY, human.”

“Mercy? You mean, like, call off the fight?” You nibbled your lip. You tried that with the flower creature and it didn’t really go so hot.

“Ribbit, ribbit. Simply saying you don’t want to fight will also work. Some monsters will take more work than others, but please, hold on to HOPE that you do not have to harm anyone too badly.”

“I’m not gonna kill anyone,” You frowned sharply, eyebrows pinching. “I’m sorry that’s what you think I would do.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” The head bobbled more, just like the one from before. Was this the same? “You are a very kind human. Thank you for listening.”

“Uh, no problem!” You hesitated before patting the frog on the head. It was cool to the touch, and smooth. Not at all like most frogs you’d known. Not that you often touched any. The frog seemed happy with your pets before hopping off to a new area behind you.

“Well that was weird.” Dusting your legs clean of any potential dirt, you went into the room just in front of you.

The room was very small, containing two long pockets in the ground full of shifting water. You resisted the urge to drink from it, seeing as it was surrounded by dirt, but the feeling did make you more parched. In the centre surrounded by bright red leaves, and in front of calm green vines, was a small column table, holding a bowl filled with brightly coloured pieces.

There was a small sign attached to the bowl that read ‘take one.’ You happily take a piece of candy and suckle on it. The flavour was very distinctly non-licorice and you hummed in thanks as your saliva helped ease your throat.

Turning out and leaving the room, you pass by a few piles of leaves- stopping in a rather large one to pick up and throw around you like confetti with a giggle- before continuing onward.

Darkness.

Your SOUL popped out and in front of you was a very tiny, palm sized bug. With a very teary face, wings, antenna, little arms, and feet, you couldn’t help but be concerned.

“Hello, are you all right-?”

The bug creature burst into tears before flying away, leaving you stunned. Colours quickly rejoined your vision as your SOUL went back inside, pulsing slow in your confusion.

“...Okay.”

Moving on.

The next room seemed pretty barren, save for oddly shaped vents in the wall, and some cracks in the flooring. You tried to be careful, but there wasn’t much room to not step on any cracking, and you soon found yourself tumbling down.

...Safely landing on a long pile of leaves.

….. _Moving on._

You got up and dusted yourself, moving to the farthest door in hopes that it would lead you out. But you weren’t entirely prepared to be sucked in and vented out back up top on the other side of the first floor you had fallen through.

“I’m just not going to question it anymore,” You called out to no one, and walked into the next room.

As you entered, you heard an unfamiliar jingle coming through your pocket, Taking out Toriel’s Spare Phone, you answered with only minor fumbling. “Uh, hello?”

“Hello! This is Toriel.” You smiled. She didn’t have to introduce herself, she was the only contact you had on the phone. “I forgot to ask what kind of pie you would like for your birthday!”

“Oh, uh,” You scratched your forehead, flushing. “It’s very sweet of you to do that, first off, thank you very much. Secondly, anything that doesn’t have cherries or chocolate is fine.”

“No chocolate? That is a surprise.” Toriel hummed as she shifted her phone- the best guess you had for the noises. “Are you allergic?”

“Oh, uh, no I’m just not that big of a fan. Had it too much as a kid and it made me sick.” You gave a small laugh, but she didn’t join you. “I just can’t really stand the smell of it much anymore is all. You’re welcome to make them for yourself if you like, I don’t mind.”

“That is all right dear one! So no.. cherries was it? And no chocolate. Do you have a favourite fruit by chance?”

“Oh man, apples for sure. Apple cinnamon pie sounds really nice actually, haha.”

“How wonderful! I am a fan of cinnamon butterscotch myself. Have you ever-?” There was a call on the other side of the phone, and Toriel sighed. “I apologize, the other shoppers here are getting a bit rowdy. I shall call you again in a while should anything else come up!”

“No worries, I’ll keep close to the phone to listen out for you. Take care Toriel!” You waited for her goodbye before pocketing the phone again.

_‘It’s nice to get to know her more,’_ you thought to yourself, walking up to a sign on the wall. _‘She said it’s been a while since a human fell down. I wonder if she’s lonely?’_

The sign ahead read ‘three out of four grey rocks recommend you push them,’ causing you to snort. Only to turn around and see a grey rock on the end of a small darkened path, a pressure plate, and spikes preventing you passage.

“Ah.” They meant literally.

Moving the rock wasn’t hard. It wouldn’t lift off the ground, but the sign said push anyhow. It was quite light for a rock.

The spikes went down as soon as the rock was on the pressure plate, and you smiled, before your vision went dark again.

SOUL popping out, you saw that bug from before again. Had it followed you? It looked ready to cry again, and you pursed your lips.

_‘I don’t want it to be afraid. Maybe it likes music?’_ You wrack your brain for any songs that could help ease the bug. _‘Aha!’_

“Oh, when a difficult day goes by,” you sing quietly, almost to yourself, but very sure that the bug could hear, “Keeping it together is hard, but that's why… you’ve got to try, you’ve got to try.”

The bug seemed less close to tears, and butterflies surrounded you, but came nowhere near your SOUL. Your SOUL itself was pulsing- not in time with your words, but to the beat you could hear so clearly in your head.

“And when there's a thundering storm outside... underneath the covers, you huddle and hide,” You held your arms, almost hugging yourself and swaying side to side. “Open your eyes, open your eyes.”

The bug was calming down, and simply sent out more butterflies around you. They fluttered almost as nervously as the bug itself.

“It's the true, it's the true; It's the true kinda love,” You murmured, swaying and dancing slowly in place. Trying to not make any sudden movements. The bug swayed with you, and didn’t seem to send out any more bugs. “It's the true, it's the true; It's the true kinda love…”

“Stuck,” you stopped moving, holding in place before moving your hands, palm out, on either side. “In the middle of fear and shame. Everybody’s looking for someone to blame. Like it’s a game, like it’s a game.”

The bug followed your SOUL pulsing, fluttering a bit closer. It looked relaxed.

“And now I am better than “win-or-lose.” There’s a new direction that I’d like to choose. It’s called the truth, it’s called the truth.”

The bug was quietly humming along with your scratchy tones, giving a wobbly smile. You carefully held out your right hand, palm out towards it. “Hey, you, show me that solvable problem. We can get through this; I’ll do the hardest part with you…!”

Your voice cracked as you went a bit higher, but the big didn’t seem to mind. It landed softly on your hand- as tiny as it was, the bug only filled the middle part of it, and it hummed softly with you.

“It's the true, it's the true; It's the true kinda love…”

After slowly ending the song and petting the bug with your forefinger, you smiled brightly. “Are you feeling better?”

It gave a hesitant nod, only shaking half as much from the beginning of the encounter. “Th-thank you…”

“It’s no problem at all! What’s your name?”

“I-I,” The bug, though calmed, stuttered, “Wh-Whimsun. My- my name… is Wh-Whimsun.”

“Such a beautiful name,” You praised, though pausing as tears seemed to touch the corners of Whimsun’s eyes again. “Thank you for listening to me sing. I know I don’t have the best voice right now.”

“Wh-what?” They looked confused. “O-oh. Your throat. I-I thought… never mind… it was nice. I-I mean… I really.. Liked…. It….”

You beamed at Whimsun, petting it slowly again. “Thank you very much. I’d be happy to sing for you anytime.”

“R-really?” Whimsun looked surprised.

“Of course. Anyone who likes listening is more than welcome to hear more.” You shift in place, noting that your SOUL had all ready returned to your body. Huh. When had that happened?

“T-th-thank- thank you- I-” It seems Whimsun noticed too, and was starting to fly off. “I’ll… I’d like that… um! Good- goodbye-!”

Aaand they’re gone.

“That was nice,” You spoke again to no one with a smile, moving on. The next room had a long hallway, a vent on a wall, and a larger area of many cracks on the floor.

“Great. Trial and error.” You groaned, eyeing the floor in distaste. Certainly did the job of “diversion” well for keeping anyone at bay.

...You tried to stop the thought of why it was needed. You fail.

Stepping forward tentatively on a crack, you blink in surprise when it doesn’t open. Peering closer, you can see that the lines are actually just drawn to look like the floor is breaking. With renewed confidence- and looking around to make sure no one was watching you- you get on all fours and inspect each crack intensely.

Ever so carefully you made your way across- nearly making a mistake many times- but finally reach the end of the corridor to safety. Hooray!

You give yourself a pat on the back- and pockets to make sure neither phone had fallen out- and step into the next room. Three more rocks with pressure plates, and another set of spikes blocking the doorway; easy enough of a task when you all ready knew what to do!

Carefully pushing each rock to its pressure plate, you stepped up to the last one and reached out-

“ _Whoa_ there pardner!”

  
“GAH!”

You flailed and fell back on your ass with a hiss, looking back up at the _apparently sentient_ rock.

“Who said you could push me around?”

“Uh.. technically the sign,” you questioned your sanity as you thumbed over your shoulder to the door behind you. “It said-”

“Three out of four rocks like being pushed little missy, three! I am the fourth and do not like being pushed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you got up and dusted yourself off, repeating _‘Don’t think about it’_ constantly in your brain. You failed. “Um, could I ask that you do, though? I need to pass through.”

“Hmm. Askin’ huh?” It didn’t move at all, but you imagined a thinking emoji over it for fun. “Okay, just for you pumpkin.” 

_‘Please don’t_ Ever _call me that again.’_ You were going to burst out laughing if it weren’t for the fact that the rock moved _half an inch._

“U-uh, I’m sorry, I meant up.” You scratched the back of your neck.

“Movin’ up? Gotcha covered. How’s this?” The rock moved to your left, above the darkened line.

You stared at it, hopefully just long enough to make it uncomfortable.

“No,” it was really hard to keep an even tone, “To the pressure plate. Please.” You don’t know if you can understand if you wanna hit the rock for its sass, or laugh because you were arguing with a _rock._

“Well why didn’t you say so? I gotcha covered.” The rock eventually moved itself to the pressure plate, and you sighed in relief.

Until you got close to the spikes and it moved away again.

You gave it an unamused look.

The rock chuckled and moved back on the pressure plate, hopefully ashamed of its actions. Something tells you it’s not though.

The area grew dark as you stepped past the spikes, your SOUL coming out once more.

_‘How is it that Toriel passed through here so quickly?’_ You wondered, thinking back to each room. _‘All the puzzles are unsolved. These monsters don’t seem to know I’m with her. Where exactly did she go?’_

The creatures in front of you- two of them- were both… just things of jello that “burbled” and made weird noises.

You looked disinterested in fighting them.

Your SOUL returned to your body.

…..Good enough.

The room behind the jello held a small table with cheese seemingly stuck to it, and a small mouse home in the wall just a little while away.

Peeking in, you could see a tiny mouse looking a little frightened and a little hungry. You assumed hungry, since the cheese looked intact and the mouse looked pretty thin.

“Hey there, can I lend you a hand at all?” You motioned to the cheese. “I could probably tug it off for you if you wanted.”

The mouse thankfully was not just a mouse and nodded eagerly for help. You wondered what point it was that you just started talking to absolutely anything here. Was it the jello? The bug? The frog??

Don’t question it. It’s for the best.

...You fail.

You move quickly to the table, and look at the bottom of the cheese. For some reason, it didn’t have anything going on with it. It wasn’t melted by any means, nor was it fake (nothing could fake that smell), it was merely stuck.

You began the process of wiggling it and tugging; breaking the top to bottom piece by piece. Eventually, aside from a thin line that refused to move from the table, you had the cheese on your lap. Gathering it up carefully, you brought it to the mouse hole, laying it down nearby.

“Here you go! Please take care okay?” You smiled as the mouse chittered in joy, waving its little arms happily.

*You are filled with KINDNESS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits of song(s) sung in this chapter:
> 
> True Love - Steven Universe the Movie - Rebecca Sugar


	5. A Moments Respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Underground seems really long. You start to get a bit tired, but Toriel is nothing but a kind old lady.

Moving on from the mouse was difficult- it was so cute to see so happy and full of food. But you had to make it to Toriel! She was waiting for you.

“Zzzzzzzzz…” A voice called out ahead, pulling you to focus. In front of you was a somewhat squished, but large room. On a pile of leaves what a transparent and yet opaque figure just laying down in the middle of the way.

“Zzzzzzz…” It called out again, for some reason pretending that saying that meant they were sleeping. Or maybe it was? “Are they gone yet.” Or not. “Zzzzzz…”

It didn’t seem like it was going to go anywhere, so you called its bluff. “Hey, would you mind giving me some room to pass?”

The room darkened, and you sighed as your SOUL came into view. Seems it wouldn’t be easy.

The Monster in front of you was a simple white sheet with big oval like eyes, a line probably to identify as a nose, and a small mouth.

“Hello there.” You greeted, waving at it.

“Oooh…” It spoke, quietly, before crying very large tears. Raining over your head, you barely had time to pull out your shield and cover yourself for protection.

“Are you all right?” You braced yourself for more tears, but come to find words appearing near your SOUL instead.

_ ‘Not feeling up to it right now, sorry.’ _

_ ‘Geez,’ _ you thought to yourself, blinking at the monster.  _ ‘This poor thing. Music helped that Whimsun, would that help this one though?’ _

You stood straight, shield still at the ready, but thought to yourself for a moment. Your voice couldn’t take too much more, so you had to choose carefully.

_ ‘That Whimsun was really sad too. I don’t wanna sing the same song twice though, who knows if they all ready heard it. Let’s see…’ _

“My god, I’m so lonely, so I open the window, to hear sounds of people; to hear sounds of people.” Your shield dissipates as you begin singing, leaving you free to gesture. You mimic opening a window and lay your arms flat like your laying on the sill, laying your head on your arms for a moment.

The monster didn’t speak, but did unluckily start crying more, and you flinched in pain as it hit you in the face. That burned!

“Ve-Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?”

God you wanted to stop, your face  _ hurt. _ It felt like what people described acid to be. But seeing the monster so sad had you continuing regardless. And it didn’t shed any more tears for the moment.

“And I don’t want your pity; I just want somebody near me- guess I’m a coward. I just want to feel all right.”

The sheet with eyes seemed to be calming down as your SOUL pulsed in time with the beat in your head. Your hands slowly trailed up your arms, holding them tight.

“And I know no one will save me, I just need someone to kiss. Give me one good honest kiss and I’ll be all right,” You twirled on the spot, holding your hands to the sky as you did.

“Nobody, nobody, nobody; nobody, nobody,” You danced around, twirling slow. Your SOUL seemed to join you, pulsating a bit louder in response. It felt great to sing for others, and made you feel good too, no matter how shaky you always found your voice to be. “Oooh, nobody, nobody, nobody…”

You stop twirling in place to look at the monster. It seemed surprised, and slowly bobbing its head to the beat of your SOUL. “I’ve been big and small, and big and small, and big and small again. And still nobody wants me- still nobody wants me!

“And I know no one will save me; I’m just asking for a kiss. Give me one good movie kiss and I’ll be all right,” You begin twirling again in time with your song, feeling your SOUL pulse brighter and brighter. “Nobody, nobody, nobody; nobody, nobody! Ooh, nobody, nobody!”

Repeating again and again as you start to slow down your twirl, slowly lowering yourself to the floor, you slump. “Nobody, nobody… no…”

It was pure silence for a moment. You breathed heavily, not having performed like  _ that _ for someone for a very long time. God you wished you had some water.

“Wow… heh…” The monster spoke, and you looked up at them. “I… I really like that song… Thank you… Oh… I’m sorry… You wanted…. To pass by… right?” You nodded, but cut them off before they could continue.

“Yeah, but that was fun! Did you like the song? It took me a minute to think of something you might like.”

“Oh… I’m sorry…. I should be… more forward with…. Songs… I… really like music…” They hovered in a way that made you feel like they were excited. “I…. make my own songs sometimes…”

“That’s pretty rad!” You cleared your throat, giving a thumbs up. “All the songs I know are made by other people. Never been a song writer myself.”

“You have… a wonderful voice…” The monster gave a wobbly smile. “Thank you… I’ll get out of your way now…..”

Colours filled your vision and you heaved a sigh. You’d best start taking it easier on your throat from here on out, until you got something to drink.

There were two pathways in this room, now that you were able to pass. The lighter trail led to the farthest wall, so you followed it in. Seeing a sign, it read ‘Spider Bake Sale! All proceeds go to real spiders.’

You shuddered slightly. Monster spiders? Was it racist to have a phobia against spiders? You definitely didn’t wanna deal with this. Your eye unfortunately caught the bigger web’s message above it, saying it was 18G for cider.

You weren’t sure what ‘G’ was but you were pretty sure you didn’t have any, anyways. Even still, you vowed internally to return, should you find some.

Leaving the room, and heading up, you come across a much larger room than a lot of others. There was a sign close to another frog friend, as well as a few more frogs inside!

_ ‘Guess there was more than one after all.’ _ You mused, happy with the turn of events. The frogs were cute and plenty. Strolling up to the sign, it talked about the spider bake sale you just saw, and you suppressed a shudder as it told you the food was made ‘of spiders.’ No thanks.

You walked over to the nearest frog friend and waved. It gave a sad croak in response. “Ribbit, ribbit. My friend never listens to me. Every time I talk, they skip through my words by moving their hands. That’s right…” They seemed to pause to regard you. “Moving their hands…” Another pause. You felt awkward. “......”

You averted your eyes, and subconsciously scratched your arm.

“Oh human, not you too!”

You chuckled at their plight, patting them on the head. “I wasn’t trying to hurry you along, I’m sorry. I’m just… not the best in conversation.”

“Ribbit ribbit,” It croaked, nodding. “I understand. Thank you for speaking up.”

“No problem.” You waved to them before heading to the next frog. They made you smile. “Hello!”

“Ribbit ribbit,” It bobbled its head, “They say there have been four frogs in this room. But I have only ever seen three frogs maximum! This is troubling, to say the least. Ribbit.”

You count out the frogs and nod. “Yeah, I only see you three too. I’ll let you know if I see the fourth!” It let out another croak and you waved it in parting, before meeting the “last” frog.

“Ribbit, ribbit,” It looked up at you with somewhat happier eyes than the others. “I have heard you are quite merciful, for a human…”

You winced. What the hell did your kind do to these cute things? “Please, I don’t want to be praised for the bare minimum here. I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

“Ribbit. I see that. I’m thankful someone like you fell down here, instead of someone cruel. Remember, sparing is just saying you won’t fight. Maybe one day you might have to prove yourself more than just FIGHTing or giving MERCY.”

How cryptic. You gave this frog a pat on the head as well, before giving your goodbyes and leaving. You’d come back when your throat wasn’t dying to look for that fourth frog. You would honour the middle frog in helping it.

The next room was on a similar, grand scale. You gave a whistle and it echoed slightly in the empty chamber. There were certain darkened areas, with specific spots that had cracked markings again. The sign on the wall said there was only one switch, and you could see from your spot- just barely- that there was another set of spikes blocking the door.

You hummed, glancing around.  _ ‘Enie, meanie, miney, moe…’ _ You stepped up to the first spot on the right from the door, and, as expected, fell through. Oddly enough, you could see various other spots, and saw where a switch on a wall was. Convenient!

Landing softly on a bed of leaves, you were about to leave before you noticed a thin, red ribbon left on the ground. Picking it up and dusting it free of dirt and who knows what else, you pondered.

_ ‘It’s very pretty, but I don’t know if it belongs to someone here.’ _ You’d hate to put it in your hair if that’s the case. Instead, you tied it around your wrist, letting it be visible by everyone. Nice! You felt cute with it on, which was a plus. You had to look like garbage from the fall.

Stepping through the door, and groaning at the vent sucking you through, you hopped down. Which one had the switch been under? You dallied between the middle and last on the left side of the room, before going to the middle. Landing on the leaves, you cheered at the sight of the switch. Go you!

Flicking it and hearing the spikes lowered, you hop through the vent and hurry through.

God how long  _ was _ this place? Another room that was certainly not Toriel’s home laid before you. A right angle of a room, filled with columns, plushies, and a vent. The sign on the wall said, ‘The far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective.’

You groaned. This was going to take a while.

x

By the end of it all, you were incredibly sore. And so, so thirsty.

While trying to figure out the room’s puzzle, you had been vented more than a couple times, and stopped by various other monsters. One with a large eye, teeth, and round body that didn’t like “being picked on,” some vegetables that threw other vegetables at you, and more “jello shots.”

By the time you saw the new area, you wanted to cry in relief, but didn’t, because that would dehydrate you further.

You ignored the path leading to the far northern wall and turned left, hoping against hope that it was the right way. Stepping into the room, you were greeted with what looked to be a dead tree with leaves all around it on the floor.

“Goodness, that took far longer than I thought,” a voice called out from behind the tree. The second you tried to say hello, your phone started ringing. “Oh!”

Rushing over was Toriel in all her fluffy glory, smiling until her eyes caught your battered and tired form. “Goodness! Are you all right?” Her expression turned down right furious. “Who did this to you? I shall… I shall….”

“Toriel, it’s okay.” You croaked as bad as the frogs out there, waving her off with a smile. “I’m just really glad to finally meet up with you. Um, do you have any water?”

Toriel took a moment to calm herself before nodding and ushering you past the tree. “Yes, yes, I have plenty of it for you. I shall also draw you up a bath. I have some spare clothing I will happily let you borrow.”

You relaxed, half leaning into her hand as you walked. She was as warm as a crackling fire, and not in the way that made you out right sweaty. Just that general comforting presence, her aura in general. It was nice, and you were too tired to be overly polite and refuse a bath or clothing.

Her home was very cold looking on the outside, but very much the same as her campfire like presence on the inside. You huffed a quiet laugh; it felt very much like her. She could be aloof at times, but inside was a big softy.

She soon led you down the right hallway and to the furthest door on the ending wall. Opening it led to a rather large bathroom, with almost a hot spring-like sized bathtub. You guessed it was because of how large she was, but being so tiny compared to her, you’d likely end up swimming.

“Please feel free to take your time in freshening up. I shall gather you your clothes and a few cups of water.” She patted your head softly, smiling gently down at you. “I do hope you feel comfortable here. Let me know if you’d like to rest- oh,”

She cut herself off as she breathed in. “Is something burning?” Her eyes widened as she pulled away. “Oh dear! The pie! I shall return shortly!” And with that she ran off, leaving you alone.

You gently closed the door and sighed. It was going to take a lot of getting used to in this place, that was for sure. For now, you took a deep breath in, and started stripping. Your poor jumpsuit was caked in bits of blood and dirt. It hurt to see it in tatters, you’d just bought the darn thing. Hopefully, Toriel might be able to repair it, but you tried to not be too expectant. You idly thumbed the ribbon bow tied onto your wrist before shrugging. It managed to survive, so you’d just wash it with you. You were too lazy to remove it.

Turning the- surprisingly- familiar knobs for the bath and getting it to just the right burning temperature, you eased yourself in and groaned. Pain and relief swam over your body and you sunk in until your nose was the only thing above water.

_ ‘Everything certainly feels real. Especially these damn cuts.’ _ You thought to yourself, grumbling and scratching the dirt out of your hair.  _ ‘But I still don’t understand. How are Monsters real? How have we never known? I don’t even know where I am…’ _

More than once, you’d thought to yourself as you scrubbed down that you were going to have to talk this out with Toriel when you had a moment together. For now, though, you enjoyed the feeling of being washed, cleaned, and smelling better than you had been since you got here. Her soaps were lightly scented in what you thought were flowers, but you hadn’t seen any more since those gold ones from before. Maybe she made her own soaps?

You tried not to think about how soaps were generally made from animal fat, and failed before you even tried not to.

_ ‘My brain hurts.’ _ You mentally complained, stretching as a knock came to the door. You cleared your sore throat and sunk down to hide your body. “C-Come in.”

Toriel entered and sat clothes on the sink counter, as well as a cup of water, before turning to you with a smile. “Here you are, dear one. Please take all the time you need to relax, I shall be out in the living room, if you’d like to join me. The pie is currently cooling and will be for a while.”

“Than- ah, thank you.” You cleared your throat again, and gave an apologetic smile. You were definitely going to need some time for that to heal. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions? I-in a bit I mean.”

“Of course! I am happy to answer anything you’d like to know.” She beamed at you before smoothing down the front of her dress. “I do hope you do not mind the size of my attire. I am afraid I only have things either…. Much too small for you, or my size.”

Oh, so she’d given you her clothes? “That’s very sweet Toriel,” you returned her smile, hoping it was as thankful as you felt. “That’s very kind of you. I appreciate it.”

She tittered and waved her hand. “It is the least I can do. If you wish to rest at all, my room is the first door on the right, after the mirror. Please feel free to nap there while you recuperate.”

“Will do.” You give her a small wave as she exits, leaning down and blowing bubbles in the water. Normally in someone else’s house, you’d get out as soon as you could so you didn’t take up all the hot water. But the temperature had hardly even changed when you got in. You chalked it up to magic and let your eyes lull.

You would have to think carefully about what questions you wanted to ask. The one that bothered you the most- aside from wanting to know where you were- was why every monster you came across thought you wanted to kill them. That was incredibly extreme. Sure, a lot of humans up there… had become far more violent as of late. 2020 was full of bullshit you had been ready to throw behind you and never look back at; it’s why you’d moved. But the general populace… at least you had hoped… wasn’t full of humans that wanted to commit murder.

You knew it was a bit of a sorry excuse, but it just felt  _ wrong _ that everyone down here thought you would be a murderer-  _ thanking  _ you when you chose to spare them instead. Some had even given you ‘G’ in thanks for sparing them. You had about ten of them just from that last room alone.

You leaned your head back on the tub and sighed. Going around in circles in your brain was nothing new, but you were trying to keep from a lot of negative stuff. You couldn’t stop the stinging of tears in your eyes, and growled quietly in frustration. Why were you down here? What happened?

You  _ still _ couldn’t remember. It was so hazy and broken. But it was there, and the more you tried, the more it felt like something was holding it from you. You chalked it up to trauma. It was the best you could get. You fell from a height that should have killed you. Some people said that it was the fall that killed people and not the impact. But you were alive. Maybe those memories were taken instead?

...Maybe you didn’t want to remember, subconsciously. You lifted a pruney hand from the water, and ran your thumb across your other finger pads. Maybe it really left a scar on you, and you didn’t want to deal with it. Not yet.

You wished that wasn’t the case, but it seemed plausible. You’d have to carefully ask Toriel. You didn’t want her to think the other monsters caused it, nor cause a fuss in general. But you knew better than to just… hang on to it alone. Other people could help. Toriel could help. And maybe you could help her too.

With a grunt, you hoisted yourself out of the bath and reluctantly let the water drain away. It was so warm and comforting, you didn’t want to leave. But that would be awkward and rude to hole yourself up in here. And you had questions. And were really, really thirsty.

The water was gone from the cup before you knew it.

Toriel’s clothing was so soft and plush, you didn’t even mind that the sleeves were a good five inches past your hands, and the bottom of the dress trailed on the ground. You felt swaddled in comfort and warmth, one that made you feel less regret for leaving the bath. You winced as your wet hair dripped on the clothes though, making sure to rub harder with your gifted towel. Wet clothes were the worst.

After detangling the best you could with your hands- thanking the gods you only had half as much hair on your head than most- you gathered the towels and awkwardly folded them, leaving them on the counter. Best to leave that to Toriel. You took the cup and headed out of the bathroom, feeling fully refreshed.

Getting a better look of the house, it really did have a cute charm. What looked like wood paneling, lightly coloured a beige tone, with a potted plant (you refused to acknowledge your initial flinch), drawers, and a little mirror to your right.

You looked into it and chuckled. You looked like a child playing dress up rather than an adult in her clothes. But they were comfy, like an oversized shirt, on a rainy day. Or, any day. You rarely left your house after all.

Moving on- after fixing your hair because wow, that looked bad- you made your way to the living room, past the foray. There were more drawers and stairs leading down- probably to a basement- before leading to the living room itself. Cozy, with a table, a rocking chair that held Toriel, a bookshelf, and a hearth.

...You made a double take at the fireplace itself, wondering where the smoke went out.

“Oh! Hello, dear one.” Toriel lowered her book she had in her hands, smiling at you past her glasses. She looked adorable. “I’m terribly sorry about the length of the outfit. Does it feel all right?”

“Oh, it’s great!” You tried giving a thumbs up, but the sleeve covered your hand, having you giggling. “It’s so soft, I genuinely love it. Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“Nonsense! You’re more than welcome to keep it.” She finally placed a bookmark inside the pages, and stowed it away in her sleeve. Handy. “I will simply make alterations to it, if you would like.”

“That’s so nice of you, thank you. Are you sure? I’d hate to take more from you. You’ve been so kind.” Your throat wasn’t fully better, but you felt more awake after such a wonderful bath, your senses of politeness coming to fruition. You couldn’t possibly ask for more, having a bath was far more than you expected anyhow.

Toriel shook her head though, laughing softly. “Please, I insist. Once we get it fitted for you, you shall feel much more comfortable. Clothing should always fit the person, not the other way around.” She nodded to a pile of clothes- your clothes- on the table. “I did stitch and clean your clothing as well, just in case you would feel more comfortable in something familiar. I am aware this may be all a bit much.”

“Oh, geez,” you felt your cheeks growing hot, walking over to the table to set down the cup. “Toriel, thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“Correct! I wished to.” Her mischievous smile had you laughing wholeheartedly, unable to keep yourself from flapping your hands a bit. Too much joy, gotta get it out somehow. Toriel stood and motioned you to join her in the next room over. “Come, I believe the pie should be done now. And we may be able to get through some of your questions.”

Excitedly, you join her in the kitchen. It oddly looked like a kitchen where you were from. Fridge, oven, counters, sink. Lots of cabinets and drawers. The only difference was the enormous size of a pie that was on the stovetop.

“Wow.” You couldn’t help but breathe in the scent. Apple cinnamon pie. A near two ton looking pie. Made for you. Your heart squeezed. “Thank you so much. Really.”

She smoothed your slightly damp hair back with a gentle smile. “Happy birthday, dear one. I do so hope you enjoy it. It has been a while since I’ve cooked anything new.”

Oh man. She gave you an entire slice- it felt like and looked bigger than your stomach- and refilled your cup of water to the brim. Sitting down together at the table, you both took a moment to enjoy the pie. You felt ravenous, and you couldn’t hold back your moans of delight as the flavour bombarded your tongue.

“Oh man. Toriel. Please. Marry me.” You closed your eyes and held your cheek. “Or maybe I should marry this pie. Both. This is so good.”

She let out the cutest bleat of laughter, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “Oh goodness, you’re so sweet. Do you love it that much, truly?”

“I really do. God, I haven’t had such a wonderful… anything in what feels like forever.” Stuffing your mouth full of gooey goodness, you let the taste linger on your tongue before swallowing. You felt renewed with every bite, something in you growing stronger. You snorted, pausing your attempt to drink from your cup, and Toriel looked at you in concern.

“What is wrong?”

“Toriel,” you grinned so hard your cheeks hurt. “It really seems like… food is good for the SOUL.”

You both burst into laughter, feeling more content than you had in a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits of song(s) sung in this chapter:
> 
> Nobody - Mitski
> 
> (Totally didn't forget to add this last time, it's fine lmao)


	6. Knowing is Half the Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you get some information finally.

After finishing up the pie- wow, you didn’t even really feel full? But you knew that you shouldn’t eat more, on some level- you both took to reclining and chatting. It had been Toriel’s idea to get to know each other a bit first, before asking questions. For the fun of it.

You didn’t mention that it was also because she was probably lonely.

“My favourite colour, funnily enough, is green.” You admitted, sipping your water. Your throat felt less like it was on fire now, but lubricating it was easing Toriel’s worries. “Does that often happen with humans, their SOULs being their favourite colour?”

“Potentially.” She scratched her chin in thought. “Though more often than not, favourite colours do change with time. Perhaps that is the SOUL itself changing in colour too.”

“Wait, your SOUL can change colour?” You gawked. “Does that mean I had multiple colours as a kid? I loved duos, and one point had a huge three colour phase.”

Toriel laughed good naturedly, patting your hand. “Oh, no I do not believe it works that way. There are only seven colours a human SOUL can be. They all are based on a trait you hold dearest to you.”

You nibbled your bottom lip, burrowing your eyebrows. “Trait? Like what… colours are like a moodlet of some kind?”

“In a sense,” she nodded, gesturing to your chest. “You are a green SOUL. Your instincts are to protect those you care about most, are they not?” You nodded. You always cherished people you loved, even if you weren’t the best at showing it. “Your SOUL is defined by that, which is proven by your shield. You go to great lengths to see yourself and others protected.”

“Wow.” All that from a SOUL? That flower  _ did _ say it was the culmination of your being. You hadn’t been sure if it was lying though. “So green stands for protection then?”

“No. Green is for Kindness.” There was a weight behind the word, more so than the usual sense. “It means you are charitable, hospitable, and love to please others.”

“Heh,” you couldn’t stop your face from heating up, taking a swig of your water. “Uh, wow. Thank you.” She gave a tinkling laugh, patting your hand again.

“It is simply the truth! That is what a green SOUL stands for. Protection, love, trust. You may not believe it at times, but it is the truth. Otherwise, you would not have it.”

That was certainly reassuring. There  _ were _ times you felt like you weren’t kind. But, in the end, you did always feel guilt over it, and even if you didn’t  _ try _ all the time to make up for it, you had gone out of your way to give the other person you hurt space and time to feel better. That in itself was kindness, right?

“So, what about monster SOULs?” You set down your glass and furrow your eyebrows. “You said humans have colours and what not. Do you guys not?”

Toriel made a humming noise, gathering the plates, and heading to the kitchen as she talked. “Indeed. Our SOULs are pure white, and compared to human SOULs, upside down.”

Upside down? You thought back to when your SOUL appeared. It looked like a heart- a childlike version drawn on a paper, not a medically accurate one- so it being upside down…

You followed after Toriel, leaning on the counter as she washed her dishes. “Does it mean anything different compared to a human SOUL?” You paused, frowning. “Let me know if I’m overstepping, sorry.”

She smiled, “Fret not, it is all right. Curiousity is not a sin. Indeed, a monster SOUL is quite different to a human one. Whereas humans have various colours and meanings, monsters share the same general type. They are all white, all upside down, and mean we are made of Hope, Love, and Compassion.”

You frowned. Sounded like there was a double meaning there, but you weren’t sure if you were overthinking it.  _ ‘Does she mean that humans aren’t made up of those things? I mean… that’s not entirely wrong, but it doesn’t feel particularly great.’ _

“Did you have any more questions?” You blinked, nodding.

“Er, yeah. Sorry, I don’t mean to keep you.” She merely laughed, bumping you gently with her hip. You still got shoved a half a foot despite it.

“You must not misunderstand, I know this to be overwhelming. I only wish to help. Do not apologize for anything, you are here now, and I am happy to be here for you.” God, she really knew how to butter you up and make your face red. She was just so  _ nice. _

“Where are we exactly? Like, I know it’s called the Underground, but…” You hesitated, glancing between the countertop and her. Her hands slowed slightly from scrubbing her dishes as she peered over to you. “I… I don’t have any memory of what happened before I fell.”

“Oh dear,” She looked you over, concern plain as day on her face. “We’re underneath a large mountain, known as Mount Ebott. But your memory being gone… That is certainly not good. Please, go sit on my chair, and I will be there shortly.”

You hated this. You bit your tongue and nodded, leaving her to do the dishes. You didn’t want to make a fuss. It wasn’t that big of a problem right? They’d probably come back in time. No biggie. Not like you needed to know anything  _ immediately _ , right?

You sat down with a heavy sigh, rubbing your face. So much for being careful about asking. You still had other questions too. But you guess they’ll have to wait now.

Also this chair was amazing and you sunk into it just right. There was no way you were getting out of it now. Not even at the threat of death.

You don’t really remember passing out, but the warm crackling fire, clinking of dishes, and comfy clothes paved the way to your exhaustion, leaving you to snooze on the large chair.

x

_ You were sitting at your desk, in your apartment, bills and deadlines printed out in your hands. Papers, calculations, estimates were all you could see. It gave you such a headache. You didn’t want to think anymore. _

_ You knew better than to give into the urge and drink though. Your family had a terrible history of it. Among a lot of other things, that was going to end with you. You drank sometimes, but never alone. It would get too depressing otherwise. You had enough depression all ready to fill that. _

_ With a sigh, you toss the papers screaming at you to demand money you didn’t have on to your desk and rubbed your face. Living was tiring. The world was tiring. Every day there was a new “breaking news” report of something going inherently wrong and no one who had the power to stop it did. Leaving everyone else to fend for themselves, leaving so many people hurt or worse. _

_ All for the sake of fucking  _ money. _ Currency that was fake. It was all so fake. God you wanted to just. Do something. Break something. Someone. Throttle them until they understood the basics of humanity and compassion and then throttle them some more. It was the least you could do. _

_ You stand up from your chair, too tired to eat, too tired to work, too tired for anything. Laying down on your bed, you stared up at the ceiling, wishing,  _ praying, _ for a better life than this. _

_ Anything other than this. _

You startled awake at the feeling of something large and soft stroking your face; blearily opening your eyes. A blurry vision of fur came into view, and it took you more than you wished for you to remember where you were.

It wasn’t a dream.

“I am sorry if I woke you,” Toriel admitted, a small frown on her features. “But you looked rather distressed. Are you all right?”

Clearing your throat, you nodded, wiping your eyes. Oh, that was… “Was I crying?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

How eloquent of you. Embarrassed, you quickly wiped your face and gave her a smile. “Thanks for waking me. I, uh…” You noted the giant comforter tucked in around you, trying to ignore the feeling of claustrophobia from your feet not ‘having air.’ “Am I in your room?”

“Yes,” she smiled, smoothing out the blanket. “I returned to the living room to speak of your memory, but you had fallen asleep on my chair. I did not have the heart to wake you, so I brought you here to rest.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry,” you blurted, face flushed. Did she carry you? God. “Thank you, you really didn’t have to-”

Her laugh cut your ramblings short, flushing brighter at her giggle snorts. Those are  _ adorable. _ “You’re perfectly fine, please, do not fret. I most assuredly prefer you getting rest. It has been a long day for you.”

How long were you even out? You reach down for your phone, freezing as you remembered you’re not in your own clothes. “U-uh, Toriel, did you wash my clothes for me?”

“Yes, I did. Would you prefer to change into them?”

You waved your hands, “No, no, I just- I had my phone and your phone in my pockets, and I… I feel really uncomfortable without them.” Surprise flitted over her features before nodding.

“I had them separated while I washed your clothing, do not worry. But I had been curious what the other object was. I have never seen a phone quite like that.” With the brick she gave you, it wasn’t that hard to believe. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much.” You nodded, smiling. “Thank you, again. I really don’t know how to repay you for all this.”

She waved you off, standing from the bed. Holy shit, it was so massive. “Nonsense, think nothing of it. Having you here is a gift in itself.”

Oh. Was that your heart? The sound of cracking filled your brain dramatically as it squeezed tightly in your chest. “Aw, Toriel…”

You couldn’t stop yourself from shimmying out of the bed and hugging her tightly. Who cares what species she was, who cares if she was a stranger. She’d been so helpful and kind. So informative. Sure, she may be a bit overbearing when it came to those puzzles, but really, she was just so darn sweet. She was just so happy to have someone else here she could talk to. You could do that much, even as bad as you were at conversations.

If you thought leaning against her was like a campfire, her hug felt like a cloud being warmed by the sun. Fresh laundry straight out of a toasty dryer. Just the concept of hugs itself. Her arms, her entire being, swallowed you up into this hug, and you couldn’t find even a piece of yourself uncomfortable with the thought. Her fur was so soft against your skin, and you sighed and pressed your cheek against her chest.

“Thank you.” She called out to you, quieter than she had been in the small time you’d been with her. You only hugged her harder in response.

It was at least a few minutes before you both parted, and you smiled softly at her. “It doesn’t match up to the kindness you’ve shown me, but I hope that helped even a little. Hugs are welcome any time. Okay?”

She gave a watery laugh, wiping her eyes. “Thank you, dear. I shall take you up on that offer for sure.” Composing herself once more, she nodded. “Now, about your memory. How far back can you recall?”

You sat on the edge of the bed, twiddling your hands. “I remember a bit before I got here. But I don’t remember  _ how _ I got here, or what I was even doing here. I only had my phone, I didn’t even have my purse on me.” You rubbed your arm at the thought. It had all your information, what little money you had left, medicine, trinkets. You hoped it was back at your apartment.

Half of you prayed it wasn’t, so it wasn’t all thrown on the street when someone took over your home.

Toriel hummed, looking over books on her shelf while you talked. “I… I think I remember a little bit after sleeping. It was like I dreamed of that memory. I was at home, and… not feeling great mentally.” It was really, really hard to talk about  _ that _ to a stranger, so you only skimmed over it. “But other than that, I don’t remember much more. I had an apartment, and I didn’t leave. In fact, I was going to bed.”

Toriel plucked a book from her shelf and opened it, skimming through rapidly. “Do you believe this may be a case of amnesia?”

You shrugged. “Possibly. I know some medical professionals claim that the fall from a large height does more against people than the actual landing. Maybe I just got really scared, and my brain is trying to protect me?”

She looked surprised. “That… is a possibility. You said you were in your twenties, correct? Twenty four?” At your nod, she tapped her chin. “How extensive is your knowledge in general? Medical, political, mathematical?”

You winced, scratching your cheek. “I’m not the best, but I know the basics. Math is my worst subject, I’m more creative than smart with numbers. English, creative anything, I excel at. Why?”

Toriel placed the book away, a wide smile across her lips and eyes wide in joy. “May I pick your brain on your knowledge that you do know of? Basics are perfectly fine, but it has been far too long since I have knowledge of the ongoings on the Surface.”

“Really?” It was your turn to be surprised. “Your kitchen is really modern, if a couple years dated. Your bathroom is amazing and a lot of humans would-” You stutter over the saying “kill for it,” flushing in shame, “Would love to have what you have. How long have you guys been down here?”

Toriel paused, wringing her hands together. Not a good sign. “How much do you know about monsters?”

“Uh,” you blinked, “Everything you’ve told me really. If you mean on the- what’d you call it? The surface?” You scratched your head, shrugging. “It’s… not great, but most monster stories are fairy tales. SOULs aren’t something we know about up there. You guys certainly aren’t either.”

You shudder to think what would happen if anyone on the “surface” would do to Toriel or any other monster were up there. It would be hell on earth.

“That is… rather unfortunate.” Toriel joins you on sitting on the bed, smoothing her dress as she did. “Monsters have been trapped down here for centuries, if not longer. Humans and monsters used to live together in harmony, once upon a time.”

You couldn’t help it. Your jaw dropped, and you stared at her. “What?”

She nodded, sighing. “It seems humans have all but forgotten their history and wars with us, over time.”

“Hold on,  _ wars?! _ ” You jump up to your feet, whirling around. “We  _ fought you? _ No  _ wonder _ everyone thinks I’m going to kill them out there. Jesus christ, I’m so sorry on behalf of all humans.”

You were freaking out, and you knew it. Humans  _ fought _ and somehow  _ won _ against monsters with magical abilities- their SOULs were made of love for christ sake! Was it a mission to keep them hidden then? Like area 51? Maybe that was just a diversion, maybe wherever you were now was where humans were  _ actually _ hiding the real deal.

“What was the last year you were on the surface? What was the last major historical moment?” You couldn’t take your eyes away from her. She seemed calm, but worried.

“I believe the year was thirteen-fifty-four. A human ruler, a son, signed a treaty for peace amongst our kind. His troops had surrounded ours, blockading and preventing our people leaving. As soon as he had word, he revealed the treaty was actually for us to be locked away. This was long after many wars between our kind, after..”

“After..?” You hated to ask. You  _ really _ hated to ask. Your mind was all ready reeling from the fact that she wasn’t even born in that year, she  _ lived it. _ Even longer.

“There had been… a miscommunication between our kind.” She paused, wringing her hands again. “The son of a ruler fell in love with a monster. His father believed him to be brainwashed… and called for the execution of the monster in question.”

“That’s not miscommunication at all!” You blurt out, throwing your hands up. “That’s blatant xenophobia and a call for murder!”

“It is all we had known of. We do not know the true reason for why he called for the death of his son’s betrothed.” You flinched at her cool tone, looking away and rubbing your arm. “Regardless, it began a string of events, and before long, we began fighting. The death tolls were too great. The King called for it to end, and the humans gave their terms. We could only oblige, or risk total extinction.”

“So you’ve just been hiding in here for hundreds of years?” This was too much. God, you knew humanity never deserved to see  _ aliens _ if  _ those _ were even real, but this was ridiculous. “How come you guys can’t leave?”

Toriel sighed and stood from her bed, dusting herself off. “I believe that is enough questions for now, dear one. I would like to relax before bed, if that is all right.”

You grit your teeth and reign back in your need to know more. You’d pestered her enough for today. You know it. She looked tired. “Yeah.. yeah. Okay. I’m sorry. I… Sorry.”

Toriel reached out and smoothed your longer side of hair, pushing it behind your ear. “We shall talk of this more later. For now, please feel free to look around the house, or go outside in the yard to relax. I only ask you not to go downstairs; it is much too dangerous.”

You nodded, looking away. You could do that. You’d pressed her boundaries more than enough for tonight. “I, uh. I’m… gonna go outside after I get some water. I’ll… be back before too long.”

She gave you a smile, and a nod, squeezing your shoulder lightly. “I thank you, dear. I hope you enjoy your time outside.” Soon leaving the room, you both split; she went back to her chair to read, and you went to the kitchen to get some water.

God this was… way too much. Maybe she was right to call it for the moment. You were getting way too heated about your own kind ruining something so great. For what? Money? Power? God, you were sick to your stomach. You drank the water, slowly, trying to get rid of that nauseated feeling coiling in you.

Taking a breath, you let it out slow, counting down from ten. It didn’t do you any favours to get angry about it now. It’d all ready happened. Maybe it’s because you know it’s part of you intrinsically, your SOUL being all about protection and whatnot, but you felt… like you were calming down easier. It was easy to become overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to teach people a lesson when people you cared for were hurt, but unfortunately, you’re, oh, some odd six hundred years too late?

Yeesh. You needed to walk this energy off.

With a wave to Toriel, you left through the front door, ignoring the lack of shoes on your feet, and your borrowed attire dragging on the ground. Pausing at the dead tree at the edge of Toriel’s lawn, you touched the bark softly, wishing that it had its beautiful leaves in full glory. It would have been nice to relax under, even if you were too antsy to sit for the moment.

With a sigh, you carried on, dallying for a moment before going left. You’d ignored this path before, in hopes of getting water, but now you had time on your hands. Stepping down the hall, you came upon a lone frog, sitting on its lonesome.

“Hello,” you greeted, nodding your head. It looked up at you, and flinched for a moment. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”

“R-ribbit, ribbit,” It croaked, bobbing its head. “You startled me with your clothes, human. Did you take them from Toriel?”

“They were a gift. She said she’d alter them for me later, so that it’ll fit.” People liked small talk right? You sucked at it, but hopefully the frog didn’t mind.

“Ribbit. That is nice to hear. She came from this room earlier, carrying groceries. I didn’t ask what they were for. We’re all too intimidated to talk to her… ribbit.”

Intimidated? She  _ was _ large and in charge, in the nicest way to phrase that as possible. Combine that with her habit of glaring at other monsters during your walk, you could understand.

“She’s very sweet when you get to know her. Maybe leaving her a gift would start to loosen up her shell?” You offered, smiling bright. “I’m sure you’ve tried that before, but it’s always worth it to be on better terms with someone in the end.”

You didn’t say ‘be better friends,’ because it didn’t always work out that way. But sometimes you could make someone hate you less. And in the end that’s what mattered. Kind of.

“Ribbit, ribbit. Thank you kind human.” You waved it goodbye as it hopped away, probably going back to that long hallway with its kin. You stepped forward, foot touching something cold, and squeaked. Leaning down, you found a few pieces of ‘G’ where the frog once stood. You pocketed them in your sleeve as Toriel had done with her book, humming. There were about five pieces gifted to you. How nice!

Stepping through the doorway, you couldn’t stop yourself from giving out a small, “Whoa.”

Because yeah. Whoa was right.

Below you, as you stood on what looked like a balcony, was an entire community of houses- hundreds and hundreds all together in the distance. As far as the eye could see, from your point, showed maybe a quarter of how many monsters were actually living underground.

Your breath caught in your throat.

So many.  _ So _ many monsters were trapped down here. They hadn’t left. Maybe there was a threat, or a promise that kept them down here. Maybe an ancient magical spell. Something.

So many monsters were crowded in this fucking space, and it was  _ your _ species fault.

You slumped to the ground on your knees and stayed there, watching, for a very, very long time.


	7. Stubborn Isn't The Word You're Looking For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning something new every step of the way.

Toriel was an old woman. In the literal sense, she’d lived a long, long time. In a maternal manner, she’d mothered and took care of many children she considered her own. In the metaphorical sense, she was tired. Existence can only carry on for so long, in the manner she had.

She wasn’t content. She hadn’t been for a long time. But she had her books, she had her cooking.

She especially had her anonymous friend behind the Ruins door.

“Knock knock,” he called, tapping the door.

“Who is there?” She answered, settling herself down at the door. These times where they could crack jokes were her favourite. She could forget her worries and just enjoy someone’s company.

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy  _ your  _ company, but you weren’t a child. You weren’t someone she could mother and pretend her children weren’t buried under flower beds. And your questions…

“Boo.”

She chuckled. She’d heard this one a few times. “Boo who?”

“Aw, don’t cry. I got better ones.”

They joined their laughter, and softly petered out. It was a few moments of silence until he spoke up again.

“You okay in there?”

The question of the century. She wasn’t, really. It was always hard, knowing someone fell down. It only meant nothing good. “I am fine, my friend.”

“Hey.”

“Hm?” Toriel leaned her head against the door, waiting.

“Why didn’t the skeleton open up?”

“Hm…” The edges of her mouth curled up. “I don’t know. Why?”

“They didn’t have the  _ guts. _ ”

Yes, Toriel thought as she bleated out a laugh. She was happier with a good friend, sharing jokes. She wasn’t content, but… maybe one day. If she even deserved it.

“What do you call a skeleton out in the cold?”

“You, my friend.” She heard a snicker behind the door and smiled.

“You got me there. I am a bit of a  _ numbskull. _ ” Another bleat of laughter, Toriel covered her snout. It brought her joy that he was trying to cheer her up. It wasn’t too hard to see. She’d live long enough to know someone’s intentions.

“Thank you. I suppose I have had… a lot on my mind.”

“You wanna talk about it?” There was a shifting noise on the other side. Probably getting comfortable. Toriel sighed softly.

It took a minute, but she admitted quietly, “Another human has fallen down.”

There was a pause on the other side. Silence for a moment.

“My friend,” Toriel turned her head, right eye closest to the door. “Please. If she is to leave, please do not harm her. She’s so delightful. So kind. Please keep her alive and protect her.”

“...I don’t do promises.” It hurt her SOUL to hear, but Toriel nodded slowly. “But… I’ll do what I can. I’m just a  _ lazy bones _ after all.”

Toriel grinned, “Thank you very much. It means a lot that it doesn’t… _ get under your skin.” _

He chuckled low, and Toriel sighed quietly with a soft smile. “I think you would like her. She’s an adult, surprisingly. It’s been so long since I have seen one since…”

“You’ve seen an adult human before?” Toriel stiffened, tail thumping lightly on the ground behind her in agitation. She hadn’t meant to let that slip.

“...Yes.”

“Wow,” her companion whistled, “You  _ really _ must be an old lady.”

Toriel chuckled, shaking her head as the tension drained from her body. Her friend would know not to pry. She should have known better. “Be careful, young man. Or I shall put you in time out.”

“Hey, at least let the human come with.” Her friend made more shuffling noises, and it sounded as if he was patting himself down. “I don’t wanna get  _ bonely. _ ”

Her laughter was answer enough.

x

It took you a while to leave the balcony. You had let yourself cry a bit, knowing it would help relieve a bit of the pent up stress you’ve been dealing with since you woke up the first time. You cried for the fear of no one knowing where you were. No one caring you were gone. You’d burned a lot of bridges on the surface, and doubted anyone who wasn’t just looking for your money even cared.

You cried for the monsters trapped under here for so fucking long. You cried for every time someone asked you to show  _ mercy _ because they were scared you were going to kill them.

You scrubbed your puffy eyes and sniffled, wishing for a tissue.  _ ‘So much for staying hydrated,’ _ you thought wryly, huffing out loud.

Soon after calming down, you left, tracing your steps back to the frog filled room, taking stock. The three frogs were still in their places, and you couldn’t see the fourth. You went to the middle frog and waved to them.

“Ribbit,” it greeted, “Did you find that fourth frog?” You shook your head.

“Not yet. I’m going to look around now. Is it possible it’s really tiny?” The frog looked thoughtful, their head bobbing around.

“Possibly, ribbit ribbit. I never considered that before. Monsters do come in all shapes and sizes.” Considering it was a frog with a hidden face underneath, you believed it. Waving in parting, you took a look around the room.

It was pretty barren- sign, frogs, and vines aside. You took a quick look over the vines, hoping to find a teeny frog friend between the leaves, but no such luck. Smiling at how silly the task was, you drag your finger across the wall as you walked, slowly and carefully checking between all the cracks in the wall-

“Oh!” You halted, finger a few inches from going into another, much larger crack. It was still far too small to be considered large by any means, and probably wasn’t visible from a distance, but you leaned close to peer in.

There’s actually a near ant-sized frog in the wall, waving at you as you look at it. You bite your lip to hold back giggling, waving your finger back at it.

“Found you little one!” You murmured, stepping back and heading to the middle frog.

“Ribbit. Did you find them?” You nodded happily, clapping your hands.

“I sure did! They’re over there, in the crack in the wall! They’re so tiny, it’s pretty easy to miss.” The frog bobbled its head, and you got the feeling it was pleased.

“Thank you for satisfying my curiousity; ribbit, ribbit. Take these for your trouble.” The frog soon hopped away, leaving more ‘G’ on the ground. You gathered them up, counting four little coins, and stowed them away in your sleeve.

_ ‘I should have enough for the cider now,’ _ You thought, ambling back to Toriel’s home.  _ ‘I left those other coins in my old clothes. Hope Toriel didn’t end up washing those too.’ _ They were rather durable feeling, but you didn’t want to take the chance. Better safe than sorry!

Making your way back to Toriel’s was easier than the first time at least. The puzzle was all ready finished, leaving you able to just pass through the confusing chamber. You felt a small sense of pride for being able to eventually figure it out, even if it took longer than you had hoped it would.

Carefully opening the front door, you peered in. There wasn’t anyone in the front area, and you found yourself a little relieved.  _ ‘I should give her some space. I’ve been intruding so much, I’m sure this is a lot for her too. Even if she’s done this for so long, it can’t be fun to have to change your whole routine because some dumbass fell into your house essentially.’ _

Quietly closing the door, you make your way to the kitchen, frowning when you note she isn’t in her chair anymore.  _ ‘Good for me, I guess, but where did she go? To bed maybe?’ _ Resolved to be as quiet as possible, you made your way to your clothes, and pulled out your ten coins.

After a moment, you grab your phones too, having forgotten them for a short time. You checked your phone from the surface, but there weren’t any messages. The timestamp at least told you it was past midnight. 

Making sure they wouldn’t all fall out of your sleeves, you make your way to the kitchen, grabbing a cup of water and drinking it, before setting it back down in the sink.

_ ‘I’ll get to that later,’ _ you promised, heading back to the door. ‘ _ Don’t want to make too much noise.’  _ Quickly, you open the door and head back out, determined to find the spider bake sale and hope that they weren’t asleep.

“Do they even need to sleep..?” You questioned out loud, shaking your head. They weren’t… real spiders in the sense of the surface. Those frogs didn’t look like frogs after all. Maybe the spiders would be only so similar too?

...Boy you really hoped so.

It wasn’t too long a stroll, but you made sure to wave to any passing by monster. Seems a lot of them caught the word a human was living with Toriel- or maybe it was your clothes, you thought with a snort- because they gave you a wide berth and waved shyly back.

_ ‘I want to ease their worries about me.’ _ You nibbled on your bottom lip, arms crossed to prevent your goods from falling.  _ ‘I want to show them I won’t hurt them, and that we can be friends.’ _ It didn’t escape you that this entire situation was really strange and far fetched as hell. Monsters existing? Humans having lived with them and shunning them into a mountain?

Okay,  _ maybe _ that part wasn’t too far fetched. Humans sucked. If your memory was at least correct enough to remember the absolutely terrifying stuff happening up there, you knew nothing was all roses and daisies.

But even if this was some strange dream you couldn’t wake up from, even if you did die on the bed of those flowers, you’d long since made a promise to stop the cycle of abuse. Long promised that harming others would end with you, no matter what. If something hurts you, it’s fine to defend.

But never to kill.

*You are filled with KINDNESS.

Humming a tune, you turned the corner to head to the spider bake sale room. The webs were still there, and you still didn’t see any spiders. But that was probably for the best.

You cleared your throat and walked up to the spider webs, trying to repress a shudder. “Um, hello? I, ah… have the coins you wanted. Could I get a… ‘spider cider?’”

There wasn’t any response, so you assumed they were either just waiting for the coins, or asleep. It  _ was _ past midnight after all. Shrugging, you dropped twelve coins into the larger web, and turned around quickly.

“A-ah, I’m sorry, I have… a really bad phobia when it comes to spiders. I don’t mean to be afraid, or dislike you, it’s just… a deep internal fear. I’m really sorry. But I hope those coins help.”

There was a large period of silence, before you heard a tinkling noise. You withheld the urge to look, knowing that if you screamed, it really wouldn’t end well, and it would be incredibly rude. There was another sound- a thick thunk- before silence once more.

Carefully turning around, you saw a jug sitting on the floor nearby the web. Brown in hue, with a wrapping that had a cheery print of, “Spider Cider!” written on it. The jug top had a cute doodle of a spider, and you smiled.

“Thank you! I’m sorry I can’t face my fear just yet, but… I’ll be here for a while, I think.” You took the jug and stood, giving a smile to the room, in case they were in the high corners like typical spiders. “I hope I can be better at this, and be your friend. I’m going to go and drink this now. Have a nice night!”

You give a wave to the air, and make your way out, eager to try to cider despite… what might be in it.  _ ‘Hopefully it doesn’t have any bits that I need to strain out,’  _ you thought as your stomach curdled.  _ ‘That would absolutely make me vomit. I don’t think I could stomach that.’ _

You started making your way back to Toriel’s, but you paused. There was a scratching sound, faint, traveling behind you. The halls were quiet enough to make it the loudest thing around. You pretended to adjust your items, glancing as inconspicuous as you can behind you.

  
There was a trail of puffed up dirt in the ground, coming towards you.

You book it.

Holding your sleeves to prevent anything falling, and clutching your cider to your chest, you run as far and as fast as you can to Toriel’s. The louder steps seem to only spur it on, lurching your heart into your throat.

_ ‘It has to be that flower,’ _ you panic, trying to keep your breath from hyperventilating.  _ ‘It can’t not be. I need to get to Toriel.’ _

You may have your shield, but there was no way you could block against that last attack he used. Your only hope was out running it.

Easier said than done when you kept tripping over the length of your dress. Hiking it up blindly, you turn left and rush past the tree; leaves blowing up around you as you pass. It was easy to bum-rush the door, slamming it closed behind you. You locked it, not knowing what was enough, and trembled, hoping the door was enough to stop it.

“My child?”

Your head snaps up to see Toriel standing on the staircase of the basement, eyes wide, and taking you in. You swallowed, breathing too heavy to respond in any straightforward way. You shook your head, taking a tentative step away from the door, keeping your eyes on it, and the lower lip for anything plant-like.

“What happened? Are you-?”

“The-there was-” you keened, stumbling over to her and shuddering, “Th-that flower- was following me- I tried- I ran-”

A soft paw gently touched your shoulder, but you couldn’t stop from flinching at the contact, dropping the cider to the floor. It thankfully didn’t burst, but it didn’t stop you from choking out a watery laugh. Toriel pulled you in to hold you, petting your hair slowly, calming you down over time.

“I must apologize,” Toriel spoke quietly above your head, claws gently scratching the back of it, “I did not think he would come back for you. I promise, I shall do anything to keep you safe. Do not be afraid, my child.”

You winced, the nickname surfacing bad memories. “M-my… m-name…”

She didn’t seem to hear you as she pulled you to the side before picking up your cider. “Now then, how about we enjoy this warm together, and read a good book? Something to calm you down.”

You grit your teeth, berating yourself from being unable to speak up, but nod. No use of it right now, and it’s not like she called you that all that often. Maybe it was her way of talking to someone when they were upset?

_ ‘She  _ is _ centuries old.’ _ You let Toriel speak as she held your hand to lead you to the table and sit you down.  _ ‘She’s probably had a few kids in her time, and she’s old enough to be my great grandmother three times over.’ _ Toriel left to the kitchen, leaving you to  _ thunk _ your head onto the table top.

_ ‘She doesn’t mean it in a demeaning way. I never introduced myself either. Weird as that is.’ _ You focused on positives and regulating your breathing; shifting your hands to your biceps. You tapped your hands to them repeatedly, at the same time, focused on calming down.  _ ‘I’m safe. Toriel is here. She can protect me. I’m safe. Toriel is here. She can protect me.’ _

A quiet tap landed next to your head, and you peered up to see a softly steaming cup of cider. It didn’t look or smell too different from cider you had on the surface- and thankfully you couldn’t see any bits randomly floating around.

“Here you are, dear one.” Toriel smiled softly, settling herself down in the chair over. “Is what you’re doing an exercise?”

You nodded, taking the warm cup in your hands. It soothed you, without even drinking it, draining the prickling feeling of fear steadily. “Y- uh, yeah. I-I… I’ve learned… different ways to calm anxiety or a p-panic… panic attack.” Talking was always harder for you, but being out of breath and anxious didn’t really help either. Shame you were never able to fully learn Sign Language.

“How wonderful to know. Would you be willing to teach me at all?” Toriel sipped her drink, humming at the taste. “I would love for us to discuss your knowledge in general, whenever you are ready of course.”

You closed your eyes and focused on your surroundings, taking everything in for the moment. “A really well known one… is the five senses test. Taste, smell, sight, hearing, and touch.” You lean back in your chair, breathing in your nose and out your mouth. “Each one has different amounts for you to focus on. Five for taste, four for smell, and so on. It’s to ground you into the now, and bring you back to the present. It doesn’t work if you’re in an overwhelming panic where everything feels too much, though.”

“I see,” she nods, setting down her glass. “What was your tapping motion? I’ve noticed you do various things with your hands, like waving them.”

“Oh, I’m autistic,” you admit, rubbing your thumb on the glass. “I have a lot of overstimulation and under stimulation issues that also stem from ADHD. The flapping I did with my hands earlier… was because I was too happy and needed an outlet.”

You adjust in your chair, rubbing your back against it, back and shoulders slowly untensing. “The tapping I was doing just now was to bring myself back without overstimulating my senses. It’s a grounding technique; your bodies- or, well I guess human bodies- respond well to repetitive motions, especially when doubled, to comfort you, or focus in the present.”

“Fascinating.” Toriel looked genuinely interested in the information, and you quirked your mouth upwards. “What are those terms you used? Autistic and… ADHD?”

“Those are, uh,” you winced, trying to find the best word for it. “Well, they’re disabilities. I’m not the best at detecting sarcasm, I’m terrible at social situations, and feel the best when I’m alone. I get quickly overwhelmed with a lot of people at once, and if I get overstimulated, I could end up crying or getting angry.” You chuckle dryly, not entirely proud of how you’ve acted in the past. “Autistic people generally have not so great mood swings, and can explode in a temperament that we  _ usually _ really regret later. Those are called meltdowns.”

“Is there anything to help prevent these meltdowns?” She didn’t sound accusatory, and you genuinely appreciated it. It was always hard for people to believe you were autistic- some claiming you had to look a specific way to be autistic, assholes- but it was also nice to see she was interested in learning.

“Sometimes taking yourself out of a bad situation helps, but other times it can’t be avoidable. If I ever get too aggressive, please tell me I’m being rude and to go cool off or something. I’ll likely calm down after a while, I’ll just need space and time.

“ADHD isn’t too different really,” you take a sip of the cider and blink. “Wow that’s really good. Uh. Like that actually, haha. I can get distracted very easily, jump on to fifteen other topics that all link together in some way when my brain makes the connection, or if I just start thinking about it. I get easily tired, another thing about over and under stimulation. I’m equally disorganized and organized. Time doesn’t exist when I find something I’m interested in- that’s called, uh, hyperfocusing.”

She nodded, taking another sip of her cider. “Humans have labeled all of these things under a few terms? How does one live with all of that? You were taken care of, I hope?” The wince on your face must have more telling than you thought it would be with the way she straightened up. “You were not taken care of?”

“Well,” you tried to delicately phrase it, “The country I’m from… didn’t exactly have a good health care system in place. A lot of it was tied to having a job, but having those issues generally cost me the job, so I… stopped working for other people. I was self employed for a long time. But self employment means you don’t get health care.”

Toriel looked at you, eyes wide, jaw slacked. “People… do not receive care for their disabilities unless they  _ work?” _

You laugh, nodding. “Oh god. It’s so much worse. For people who register their disabilities- like, being born without some limbs, or something that prevented working- they can’t have more than two thousand dollars to live off of per month or so, they have to spend all the money they get or they have to pay even more back to our government, and they can’t get married.”

_ “What?!” _ Toriel was aghast, but you could only nod.

“If you get married, you lose all benefits. No more money given by the government. Your partner has to take care of you, financially, and all the other ways your disability prevents you from doing. It’s disgusting.”

Toriel shook her head slowly, obviously trying to wrap her head around it. You could only drink your delicious cider as she took a moment to think. You had your whole life dealing with the knowledge and issues, it was obvious anyone else who had fallen either didn’t know this stuff, or… passed away before they could tell her. Or on a lighter note, just didn’t find it interesting to talk about.

“My goodness.” Toriel leaned back in her chair, hands on her lap. “That is… certainly a lot.” She cleared her throat and gave you a smile. “Thank you for explaining so much to me. I will certainly do my best where your people failed to help care for you.”

You flushed, waving your free hand in front of you. “Oh, geez, Toriel you’re all ready doing so much. Don’t sweat it, you’ve been fine. Uh, actually,” you scratch your cheek, avoiding eye contact. “I wanted to apologize to you, for earlier. I know my questions weren’t right to ask, and I’m sorry if I upset you at all. That was never my intention.”

Toriel sighs, sipping her drink. “You are perfectly fine, I assure you. Those just hold terrible memories. A near different life, even. As I said before, curiousity is not a sin. I am happy to answer anything you wish to know.”

You nod, and finish off the cider, hoping there was more for later. You take her cup after she finishes and shoot her a smile. “You should get some rest. It’s been a long day for the both of us.” She gives you a small smile in response and nods.

“You are welcome to use the first door on the left side hall near my bedroom. It is…” Toriel pauses, something sad flitting over her face, “It is more suited for a child, but you are more than welcome to use it, if you would like.”

“Thank you.” You stifle any potential need to ask before it pops up. It wasn’t your place. “I’ll go ahead and wash these. Sleep well, okay?”

Toriel stood before giving you a nice, tight hug. “And you as well. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight!” You waved goodbye before heading to the kitchen, and washing the cups clean. It was nice to be able to do something for her; she probably didn’t have many people doing that, since everyone was apparently intimidated.

Solitary life of an old maid. Old lady. Old maid sounded terrible, and you hated that you thought that. Setting the dishes in a rack to dry, you dry your hands on your clothes and turn to exit the kitchen.

“Oh fuck,” you stop and whisper at the doorway, clenching your hands. “I forgot to tell her my name. Ugh. Stupid memory.” You grumble and huff your way back to the living room.

Seeing the area for the door set your nerves on fire, so you stayed in the living room, looking over the shelf of varying books. Some too high to reach, various shades all over. One book, however, caught your attention more than the others.

“72 Uses for Snails?” You read out loud, snickering. Wow. Do goats like escargot? How cute. You thumbed it and read a few fun facts; ‘snails flip their digestive systems as they mature,’ ‘have a tongue called a radula,’ ‘some are carnivores.’ There were a few notes in the corners of the pages in pretty handwriting too; ‘snails make for bad shoe laces,’ ‘Talk. Really. Slowly,’ with an asterisk next to it, amending that it was a joke and they couldn’t talk.

_ ‘She’s too cute.’ _ You chuckle, stowing the book in its original spot, and keep looking. Another book caught your eye and you paused.  _ ‘Monster History, Volume 1?’ _ Your hand flittered over it, hesitating to grab it before gently removing it off the shelf.  _ ‘She didn’t say I couldn’t.’ _

Flipping to a random page, you moved over to Toriel’s big chair and got comfortable. “‘Trapped behind the barrier, and fearful of human attacks, we retreated.’ Barrier…?” Were you actually right about an ancient magic keeping them trapped down here? “‘Far, far into the earth, we walked, until we reached the cavern’s end. This was our new home, which we named…. ‘Home.’” You glanced at the cover of the book with a raised eyebrow. “‘‘As great as our king is, he is pretty lousy at names.’”   
  


It seemed to be as far as the passage would go, a lot being too old to really read anymore. Reluctantly getting up and popping your back, you put the book back and looked around. You couldn’t see the second or third volume anywhere, and huffed.

“Incomplete sets always bug me.” You shrug, before sitting back down on the chair and sigh. Even with the small passage, you still had a lot to understand. Toriel’s conversation from earlier was alluding to this. A barrier. It prevented any passage, apparently. So… did that really mean you were trapped down here?

_ ‘Now that I think about it,’ _ you ponder, closing your eyes,  _ ‘It said  _ King. _ Is he still alive? And where exactly is the barrier at?’ _ Surely it wasn’t where you fell. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get in.  _ ‘Unless it’s potent only for keeping monsters in. Not anyone else getting through.’ _

So far it sounded like humans somehow got monsters to conjure up a barrier to lock themselves up with. Maybe killed them to make it? And didn’t think to put a lock and key on keeping others out. Kind of sucked, really. Monsters being so afraid of humans, after everything they did to them, only to have one come down every so often, with no memory of them having ever existed.

It sucked. It really did. And the worse thing was, you didn’t know how to help.

...You didn’t know if you wanted them to be free anyways.

You squeeze your eyes at the thought, but it’s true. It was hell on earth up there. They’d be so easily murdered. There wasn’t any hope of surviving up there, magic or not. Fuck,  _ you’d _ barely survived, and you grew up there! But…

The image of the area beyond the balcony came to mind. It was so crowded. So many houses, so potentially packed to the brim of monsters that had never seen the light of day. The twinkling stars. It burned you, somewhere deep inside. Something urging you to set these creatures free.

As you slowly fell asleep, you felt something in the back of your subconscious.

*You were filled… with DETERMINATION.


	8. Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Depression, vague passes to suicidal thoughts, lots of problems with mental issues. Reader doesn't have a good time.
> 
> Also a bit shorter, but I'm literally too tired to keep writing and wanted to get something done to fulfill that itch. Hope you guys enjoy regardless!
> 
> You've been warned!!
> 
> :)

There was… a tugging sensation. Almost trying to pull you in a direction. You were as heavy as a rock though, so you didn’t move far. It’s not that you didn’t want to follow… you just couldn’t. Laden down with the weight of something immeasurable, it kept you from going along.

And at the same time, there was pulling in the other direction. This feeling was so much stronger than the tugging; it was urgent; it was crazed; it was almost painful. But you were too firm in your position to be moved, no matter how incessant, no matter how digging the feeling was in you.

At the crux of it all, you were stone. Immobile. Immovable. Steadfast, but not permanently there.

You could make a choice.

You could stay there.

Or you could follow a side.

The tugging, desperate feeling as it was…

Or the pulling; crazed; demanding, even when silent.

  
  
  


What would you choose…?-

  
  


Your thoughts stilled, the images in your mind fading away into bleary and forgettable waves as something pets down your hair and startles you awake.

“My dear, did you stay out here all night?” Toriel’s voice murmured in through your ears. It registered very slowly in your half asleep state, and you let out a grunt, trying to huddle down for more rest. You were exhausted, as if you had just ran twenty marathons in your sleep.

A chuckle filled your ears, and her hand-paw left for a moment. You dozed lightly as her steps faded away from your person, leaving you to rest once more.

It wasn’t very long, unfortunately, that your bladder made it very clear that it was time to wake up. Too painful to stay in your once wonderfully comfortable curled up position, too likely to ruin your clothes if you stayed much longer. With a whimper, you unraveled and stumbled to your feet, making your way unsteadily to the bathroom.

...Only to smack into a wall.

“Are you all right?”

Another grunt. You hissed at the feeling of your nose and forehead taking the brunt of the impact, before shuffling to the side and continuing on. It took you longer than your bladder would have liked, but you were great at holding it, to be frank. Had lots of practice on the surface from when you were in school with shitty teachers, or holed up in your room to avoid people.

It wasn’t exactly _great_ but it’s a living.

Managing to get into the bathroom and assort yourself- thank _god_ monsters had running pipes and working amenities- you felt more awake than before. Rinsing your mouth with water and rubbing your teeth clean of the weird fluffy feeling on your teeth, you took stock of your appearance.

Blonde hair. Right side and back shaved head, left side longer down to your shoulders. Olive skin tone, freckles cast over your large nose and high cheek bones. Tired grey blue eyes. Your hair was all over the place and knotted to high hell.

Aside from the clothes, you honestly didn’t look too dissimilar from being up on the surface. It gave you some sort of comfort, still being yourself despite everything that’s occurred.

...Even if you really _were_ dead.

It probably wasn’t healthy to continue that line of thought. So you straightened up, turned off the light, and headed back to the living room, with a little bit more caution in your step.

Just cause you were awake didn’t mean you were _happy_ about it after all.

Toriel perked up from her seat at the table, giving you a smile and a once over. “Good morning! Is your head all right?”

“Uh, er,” You scratched the back of your neck reflexively, laughing, “Yes. I’ve got a hard head. Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Very well. I went ahead and made breakfast. Please feel free to join me.” You get the feeling she was offering you an out if you wanted, and you couldn’t appreciate the fact more that she was taking your discomfort of others seriously.

You nodded your head with a smile. “I’d love to, thank you. What did you make?”

“Well, there isn’t too much, but I was able to make some cinnamon apple pancakes with the left overs from the pie from yesterday. I apologize, but I will have to take another trip to the store to keep us stocked up.”

You shifted, rummaging in your sleeves to pull out the rest of your coins- or _coin_ considering you only had one left. Flushing, you shyly hand it over to her, looking away.

“Sorry, this is all I have left from the cider. It’s not much, but I’ll try to pitch in when I can.”

“Pardon?” Toriel inquired, slowly holding out her hand to take the sole coin. Surprise flitted over her features before she laughed. “Oh, dear, no! I am not asking anything of you to assist, please do not worry!”

You furrowed your eyebrows and scratched your leg with your toe nails, balancing on one foot. “What do you mean? It’s got to cost a lot for two adults.I don’t want to just be a bum in your home. I can do chores if you want?”

Her smile was so wide and genuine, you wondered idly if her face was hurting. “My dear, that is very kind of you. I certainly will ask for your help here and there around the house, or to join me for walks, but payment is very unnecessary. You are in my home, feel free to do as you may, eat as you like, and make any requests you’d like as well. I shall grab them for you.”

It felt _wrong._ Too like… too like back home. With _him._ You didn’t like it, you didn’t want to agree.

“O-okay.”

But when were you ever strong willed about anything other than being an asshole?

You forced a smile and a quiet ‘thanks’ before quickly turning to the kitchen and hurrying to grab some food. You could pretend. You’d always been a great actress after all.

Pretending was what you were good at.

x

After some small chatter about nothing while eating, you pass off some basic knowledge like you promised about the surface to Toriel as she wrote in a journal. Some light history you could remember, fun mythical stories about gods- Greek and Japanese, a little Hindu, and even some Catholic and Christianity. Mathematics, what you were good at and what you weren’t so good at. English, creative writing, drawing- you refused to sing in front of Toriel. Far too embarrassing for the moment.

In turn, Toriel gave you a journal, and help you set up some notes of your own after inquiring about it. To not only help with your memory, but because it was fun to compare notes and small doodles of each other’s kind. Toriel’s drawings were very cute in a chibi like manner.

(You totally took a picture of the drawing in your phone.)

You explained the technology of “today”, comparing it to what she had in her home, and the advancement of man as a whole. You often skimmed over a few things, not wanting to give her misinformation about some things, and other times just not wanting to delve into the shit hole the surface has become. It was a fun session of just getting to know each other’s cultures.

You were doodling a Loox from memory- the big eye creature from before- when Toriel stood from her chair by the fire. You glanced up at her as she stretched and put her notebook in her sleeve.

“I’ll be heading off to the store now,” she smiled, moving around you to the door, “I know you did not have a good time with that flower outside, so feel free to stay indoors, but do not be afraid. I shall always be there to help should you need it.”

“Can I…” You paused, lifting each leg behind you for a moment to stretch. “Can I come with you? To help out with the groceries?”

She gave a soft smile, “I’m sorry my dear, unfortunately the trip isn’t… easy for one such as yourself to make. But do not worry, I will not take too long. Be well, will you?”

You nod and smile, before giving her a big hug. Toriel laughed and squeezed you close- satisfyingly popping your back- and waved goodbye.

You walk back over to her chair, stealing her remaining warmth on it and the fire, and reopen your new journal to the last page. Defining some characteristics here and there on the Loox drawing, you smiled at the definition and cross hashing. You were getting better!

_‘It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything traditional. Happy it still holds up even after so long!’_ You cheerfully turn your book over and start doodling the Whimsun you had seen last. Their form was rather simplistic, but it was fun to add more shading and depth to make it pop more.

It was very quiet for a while. Studying the notes Toriel gave you, drawing monsters you’d seen, even going so far as to add your own notes about the food and Toriel herself. It was relaxing, peaceful.

It was nice.

But boring after a bit.

“Where’s Toriel?” You mumbled? You didn’t know when she left, but you checked your phone anyhow. It had to be longer than 30 minutes at this point, right?

Your phone screen lit up, showing you it was the next day, November 6th, raining, 10:30 am.

Raining-?

You sat up as quickly as you could without hurting yourself, near tossing your journal to the side. Your phone couldn’t show you the weather unless you had cell service. How did you- when-?! Whatever. You had to call someone, anyone! Maybe they could help you out!

You flick your finger on the phone screen and scroll to your contacts. Anyone was bound to help you right? Right?? You had to try! Even if they hated your guts or didn’t remember you.

Fuck, you could probably call the government- if you were stupid enough to endanger the lives of monsters like that- and try to convince them to help you.

You stall your finger over a number and freeze.

Who would believe you? Who wouldn’t laugh in your ear and tell them to stop pranking them?

  
Falling into a hole? Magical beings of another species?

This was a YA Novel in the making, and you were the lead role. Who the fuck would help you?

Your eyes burned with tears of frustration as you gripped the phone tight in your hands. Why were you kidding yourself? Everyone would turn you away at the sound of your voice, much less _listen_ to you. You didn’t know where you were geologically on the surface! Who the hell would come find you?

No one.

No one would come.

The screen burns bright as you stare it down, watching, waiting. Emails had been popping up the entire time you were thinking- all spam, all updates on various platforms, no actual human contact.

No calls.

No one was looking for you. They all thought you were gone hiding somewhere or dead. There was no one on the surface- absolutely not a single soul- who cared whether you lived or died.

You close the screen.

You stared blankly in the air for a moment, dazed at the revelation. You were as good as dead to people, right now. You were probably dead _to_ a lot of them. So many people who wished to never see or hear from you again all got their wish.

You’d probably die down here without anyone ever knowing where you physically went. Without _you_ ever knowing where you were.

A chuckle, so thick and wet with emotion spilled from your lips. Your face curled into pure pained bitter contempt. For the world. For the people who treated you like garbage. For yourself.

_God,_ for yourself. What were you even doing, making friends with a goat monster? Sharing information like you were study buddies in class? Fucking _singing_ to monsters to make them feel good?

You were dead thousands of miles into the earth and nothing _fucking_ mattered.

Nothing _ever_ mattered.

Shakily, you stood from the chair, devoid of any warmth you felt previous, and rubbed your face on your sleeve. You had to get out, had to- to go somewhere. Maybe to that first area you fell through. Maybe you could find a way up. Or… something. Anything. You felt suffocated all of a sudden.

Drowning in your own sorrow.

You stepped out of the door, closing it behind you, and left the house.

Leaving behind a lone, abandoned journal next to the chair by the fire.

x

You didn’t see any monsters as you passed by. Which honestly was for the best. You didn’t want comfort, you didn’t want coddling. You wanted to drown into your bitter, hurt feelings and wallow.

Trudging your way through the halls and passageways, your right hand wrapped around your phone haphazardly. It didn’t really matter. It was dead weight from the surface like you were. Useless, pointless; no better than a paper weight.

You passed by the rock you had ordered to stay on the pressure plate, not even casting it a glance.

Pass by the doorway and staircase to the opening of the Ruins.

Through the darkened room with a sole patch of dirt and sunlight.

Further in, to that patch of flowers.

There was a light drizzle coming in from the giant hole above. You craned your head back, letting the feeling of _moving air_ and moisture overtake you. It cooled some hot emotion- the bitterness you felt- somewhat. Bringing you to reality from your darker thoughts. But not enough for you to forget that you were still stuck.

Unmoving. Steadfast.

It felt like you were falling. Despite the pulling and tugging, you were falling down into a third option; sinking to the bottom without any hope of coming back up.

Tired eyes scanned the high, high walls of the cave entrance. No footholes. No places to scramble. Crumbling pillars around the four corners of the room, no higher than ten feet on their own.

You lick your dry lips and try to breathe, but not much comes through your clogged nose. The distant sounds of wind and rain echoing through the chamber, echoing in your head, made you drowsy.

You could just…

D

r

o

p. . .

  
  
  


Sink to the bottom like you were feeling….

Just never get up again…

  
  


You fall to your knees, kicking up some dirt and dust around you. You feel yourself sway.

A voice in the distance... familiar and yet not… asking questions you couldn’t bring the strength to answer.

The dirt was cold on your face. The flowers tickled your nose, but you couldn’t bare the strength to move.

Sunken under the weight of your own depression.

Your eyes close.

When a knock on the door comes.

You open your eyes, blearily. What happened?

You look around, wiping some drool from the corner of your mouth, and some tears from your crusted eyes. You were in Toriel’s chair still. Curled up, on the left side, closest to the fire. Journal dropped to the floor.

_‘That felt too real,’_ you panic, standing up, _‘That was too real. Vivid dreams_ only _happen when they’re trying to show me something. I can’t let myself forget.’_

Another knock on the door, but you didn’t hear Toriel’s voice. You hurried to your journal and mark the most vivid parts down in bullets before hurrying to the door, peeking out the windows.

Only to see a budding flower on the outer window sill.

“Long time no see,” he grinned.

  
  


_“Chara.”_


	9. Knowledge Is Half The Battle, Remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you get answers, but even more questions. And more answers, and more questions.
> 
> And more-

It was silent for a few breaths.

Flowey tilts his head to the side, still grinning. “What? Froggit got your tongue?” He tilted the other way, looking particularly pleased, like a cat who caught a canary. “Not sure why you insist on pretending like you aren’t at this point, _or_ why you haven’t left Toriel’s house yet. Did you just feel like playing pretend today?”

“What?” You screwed up your features the longer he went on, shaking your head. “What are you even talking about?”

“Oh don’t be _coy,_ Chara,” Flowey continued, shaking his head. “Did you think I couldn’t figure you out? Why wouldn’t you take the form of a bigger human this time? All the better to crush and kill with, am I right?”

“Okay, firstly,” you held up one hand, journal clasped tight in the other, “My name isn’t ‘Chara’ or whoever the hell you’re comparing me to. My name is Allora. Secondly, I don’t know who this Chara is. Thirdly, _kill?_ ” You sneer, strutting up to the window and poking the glass with your forefinger. “The only one who’s about to get his little neck stem wrangled is _you._ ”

You thought for a very quick second you saw something flicker in his eyes, but it fades as quickly as his face morphs into a disgusting, spiked grin that he had greeted you with the very first time you met.

_‘I have to stall,’_ You thought to yourself, eyeing the front area around you. _‘I have to keep it busy until Toriel comes back.’_

“Now _that’s_ the energy I’m talking about. I _know_ you want to kill everyone down here, deep down inside you; _c r a v i n g_ to break free.” He presses his face against the glass, and despite how all ready muffled it was, it did nothing to hinder his speaking. “I can help you Chara. We can start from the beginning again, you and I.”

Your eyes glanced over the old, beige roller shade over the window, to the drawstring, and glared at the flower monster before you.

“We can actually start by doing this.” You raised your hand high up, pretending to reel back to crash your fist through the glass to attack him, but quickly hook your finger in the roller shades drawstring and pull it down to cover the window. You make sure the door is locked before turning around and walking away.

Before you’re able to slink out of sight, you hear a hard tapping on the other window behind you, from the other window you hadn’t closed the shade over, with Flowey giving you a particularly dry look.

“Seriously?”

You shrugged. “Best I could come up with really.”

_‘Not much I_ can _do with being pinned in the house. There’s always the basement, but… that might not even go anywhere. I’ll see if I can’t stall my way through first. He’s really smart though, roller shade shenanigan aside, I can’t underestimate him.’_ You awkwardly shove your journal in your sleeve and stand straight, turning to him fully.

He sighed, “I guess you really aren’t Chara. They wouldn’t be so stupid.”

You rolled your eyes. “Obviously, I’m my own person, idiot. And what did you mean before? Was this other person you keep talking about a shape shifting monster?”

“ _You’re_ the only _idiot_ around here,” Flowey sneered, genuine anger on his face. “And no. Chara was a human who came here a long time ago.”

“Then how would they ‘take form in a larger human’ as you said?” You turn your head slightly, keeping an eye on his form, but away from his eyes. It was too much to keep eye contact for long, but you couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t try anything like before.

He huffed, turning away. “They were strong. And…” You glanced up to his face at his pause. It looked… conflicted? “And I… thought I heard them. Through you.”

“Through me?” Your hand goes to your chest, your heart squeezing. “Do you mean in my SOUL?”

“Forget it!” He hissed, whipping around to snarl at you. “I’ve all ready said too much. You should just _die._ ”

“Okay, edgelord,” you roll your eyes again, scoffing. “What are you, twelve? You should get better threats if you want someone to actually die. Besides, shouldn’t you get going?”

He reeled his head back, looking your form up and down. “Why? And I’m way older than you!”

“Right, and my SOUL is red.” Your face deadpanned before you jeered your thumb to the right. “Either way, Toriel won’t be too happy to see you bothering me. Might want to get lost before you get roasted by fire again.”

“That old hag,” Flowey snapped his suddenly sharper fangs, “She couldn’t kill me even if she wanted to. She’s incapable. An absolute coward.”

“Strange, that sounds like someone I know.” You pretended to ponder before looking him dead in the eye for a moment. The message was clear, though with the way your hair was rising on the back of your head, you immediately regretted it. _‘Me and my big fucking mouth.’_

“You-!” He was shaking with unbridled rage, a fire in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “You should know, I _let_ you live! I _let_ you be taken in with her, just to see the Hope drain from your face when you had to kill her in the end!”

There was a slow, manically building laughter coming from the flower that had you taking a step back in fear. A shudder wracked your body. This wasn’t safe to play around any more. Where _was_ she?

“Wh-what do you mean-?”

“You’ll see. The only way to leave this _horrible fake home_ is to kill her. There’s more to this place than this, in that _stupid_ basement of hers!” He cackled uproariously, face twisted horrifically. “I bet she told you not to go down there, huh? Have you even checked her extra rooms?!”

You grit your teeth as he continued on with his rant, keeping your eyes sweeping the area for a weapon in case of an attack. “Her children _died._ She’s just using you as a replacement! She does that with every. Single. Human. That comes down here. _You’re_ an adult though. I bet she won’t stay happy keeping you with her for so long when she gets to know the _real_ you!”

You flinch as he bashes a vine on the window pane, leering at your form. You couldn’t keep yourself from shaking, fight or flight response begging to take effect. You swallowed a whimper, clenching your hands tightly. You couldn’t move. You were stuck in place. Couldn’t think.

“I’ll watch it all happen. No matter how long it takes, I’ll enjoy _every second_ of you two becoming so homey and it all fall apart the _second_ you ask to leave. She’ll hate you. She’ll despise you, every bit of you, and replace you with someone new. It’s what she’s good at.

“And I,” he boasts, grinning so wide, your face hurt, “ _I_ am the prince of this world. I’ll inherit it all when you die, and I’ll take your pretty little SOUL too. Enjoy what time you have left _human._ Clock’s ticking.”

With that, he slunk away from the window, leaving you to slump to the floor, haggard and short of breath. Your body felt like jelly, and you couldn’t stop shaking.

Conflict fucking _sucked._

You closed your eyes- after checking the window again- and huddled against the wall to rub your face against to ground yourself. You pull out your journal and pencil, opening to a page and jotting down some notes next to a simplistically drawn flower.

  * _Flowey: Asshole._



It was small, it was stupid, it didn’t mean anything.

But it made you feel better.

You took a moment, about to stand before you made another note next to his portrait.

  * _Research the name ‘Chara.’_



Closing the journal, you sighed and slowly made your way to your feet. So much for any plans on waiting for Toriel. You needed answers.

_‘It’s not like she entirely lied though,’_ you nibble on your bottom lip as you eyed the staircase. _‘If anything beyond is anything like what I’ve faced so far, if any of the other monsters in this mountain are like Flowey, they’ll want my SOUL. I’ll start with that bedroom he mentioned, I guess.’_

You idly wondered how he knew so much, but considering his ability to travel through the dirt like he did, he must be able to travel virtually anywhere. You hoped the floorboards prevented his entrance through the house, even if his vine seemed like it could have burst through the window at just a flick of it.

Reaching the door handle, you slowly open it to view inside the bedroom Toriel told you you had free lodging in.

It was small, for sure. Kid sized. Two beds, on either sides of the walls, with a clothes cupboard in between and a nightstand. A container for shoes sat at the end of the bed, holding various sizes. The toys looked like they hadn't been played with for years, covered in a fine layer of dust. It made you queasy. You looked away.

Drawings taped on the wall, a nice rug on the floor, a small lamp. It was so homey looking it hurt. It felt intrusive to be in the room, free reign or no. You were suddenly thankful you didn’t sleep in here before. You had no place in here, in this room.

It must have sucked to have to offer this room to everyone that came down here, no heart to remake it, living with the memory of you dead kids right next to your own fucking bedroom. You didn’t doubt Flowey was telling the truth about that. Toriel had a sadness about her, she was so lonely. Why else keep all this stuff?

_‘Now that I think about it… these kids, I don’t see anything that can say any of them- any that may have also fallen down if she took other humans in- growing up to be a full adult.'_ You kneeled down and took one of the biggest shoes, only making it to a size five at most.

You carefully placed it the same way it was before, letting out a shaky breath. God this was a lot. Too much. You should go back to the living room and mind your own business before- 

“My dear?”

_‘We love comedic timing,’_ you snapped your head around to see Toriel peering down at you. Her hands were free of groceries- you assume she must have all ready put them away and curse yourself for not being there to help, instead of being so nosey-

“Ah. I see you’re looking about. I was worried you had stepped out when you had not answered me the first time.” She smiles, and clasps her hands together, but there’s just something so off about it. Now with what you know, it feels wrong, tainted. Heartbreaking.

“I’m so sorry, Toriel, I didn’t,” you swallow, shaking your head, “No I mean… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been snooping.”

“Snooping?” She echoed, blinking. “I believe I told you you are welcome to stay in here if you like. It was more surprising to see you in the chair still come morning.”

You shake your head, standing up. “No, I mean…” You sighed, aggravated. Talking sucked. Everything about this sucked. “Flowey came. He talked- well. More like monologued at me.” You looked away, holding your sleeve tightly in your hand. “He… told me about your kids. I’m sorry.”

Toriel was quiet for some time. Her quiet sigh was loud in the silence that filled the room, making you flinch in guilt.

“It is… not a secret, that I have lost many children in my time,” Toriel began, twisting her hands together. Peering up to her face, it was twisted in agony and a look that you hope beyond hope that you would never have to experience. “May we sit?”

“Of course, please.” You motion out the door, and follow her behind, respectfully closing the door behind you with a quiet click. You both make your way to the dining room, sitting down at the table. In all that you had ever seen of Toriel, she’d always been regal in a way you almost desired to have, but now…

“You are not the first human to have fallen down, dear.” Toriel began, eyes near glazed over as she stared far in the distance. “Not even close. Seven others have made their way down here before. The very first… and my son… were the best of friends. I cherished them so dearly.”

Your hand moved on its own as your need to comfort her became too much, grasping her hand-paw tightly. It took a moment for her to hold yours, but it soon held your hand equally tight.

In some internal space, you wanted to buckle, run away, flee the situation. You hated to be relied on. It was so much pressure, this pain of hers was so much- too much.

But her kindness, her levity even after being through so much, her willingness to continue to care despite it all… you wanted to give it back to her. To hell with fear in this moment. You could be her pillar if she needed it, just like she was on some level for you.

“All those who have fallen down here have been children,” she admits, placing her free hand on top of your clasped ones, “You are the first adult human I have seen in centuries.”

“I’m sure it’s quite shocking.” You couldn’t comprehend what it’s like. You didn’t want to pretend to.

“It’s more refreshing,” she gives a faint smile, “I had begun to feel it was nothing but continued punishment from some higher entity to send me children that would soon die.”

“Die?” Your mind was filled unbidden with Flowey’s words of needing to kill Toriel to leave this place. You squeezed her hand tighter. “What do you mean?”

She bowed her head slightly, shaking it. “Beyond this sanctuary… out there, beyond the basement… lies the rest of the Underground. Monsters lurk about, waiting to claim the SOUL of a human. All who have come… they leave… they die.”

You couldn’t hold back a shudder that wracked your body. The monsters in here… they _begged_ you not to kill them. Why would the others out there be so willing to kill? Was it Toriel’s presence that demanded a paltry peace?

“Is it because we trapped you in here?” You couldn’t help but need answers. You hated it, she was tearing apart inside, you could see. But you had to know.

“Seven human SOULS are needed in order to open the barrier,” Toriel raised a hand-paw to her eyes, clearing the tears that gathered, “With them… we can go free.”

“What?” Human SOULS? “Why? How? I read the book, it said humans put you behind the barrier, but why would it need human lives to break-?”

“Humans created the barrier.”

Toriel stood, turning and leaving to the kitchen. She rummaged around for a while before returning with two cups filled with water, a spoon in each, and tea packets. Seems like this’d be a long conversation.

“How? Did they force monsters to do it?”

Toriel paused as she stirred her cup, looking up at you. “No,” she returned slowly, brows furrowing, “Humans created it.”

“How?”

“With _magic._ ”

Now it was your turn to scrunch up your eyebrows. “Humans had magic? That’s… incredibly hard and yet not hard to believe…”

Humans in the past had magic and they wasted what they had by locking away magical beings? God you were stuck in the wrong timeline in an all new different meaning. Past was no different from the future as history repeated itself with human “magic” becoming science, you supposed.

“Humans… do not have magic?” You seesawed your hand with a grimace.

“To a point. There are witches and wiccans. But it’s up to the person wielding that “magic” to believe whether or not they actually have it. Then uh,” you flush, sighing, “There’s me. I have divination abilities. I can sorta see into the future, but… I’m not well practiced because I don’t have anyone else teaching me. I’m just learning as I go.”

It wasn’t something you _often_ shared, but much like Toriel and her past, it wasn’t entirely a secret either. Most people don’t believe you or think you’re fucking insane and wrapped up in your head, so it’s not like it mattered.

Once upon a time, you had people who believed you, but… well. You were down here, so something must have happened right?

“These things, they aren’t intrinsically magic though, not like you guys have.” You carried on, brushing aside the thought for now. “It’s not visible, not meta-physical. You can cast what normal people view as ‘black magic’ to curse people, but generally that’s a huge problematic view on wiccan culture, not to mention to cast a curse is incredibly dangerous due to rebounds.”

“Your powers have diminished greatly then.” Toriel summarizes, taking a sip of her tea. You make the same motion, not wanting to seem impolite, despite not being big on tea. You didn’t have to wrinkle your nose at the taste though, it seemed like she added some honey for flavour. Still tasted mostly like water though.

_‘At least it smells nice,’_ you internally shrug. Tea was always just aroma for you.

Toriel sat up straighter, having since calmed down from before. Her regal air overtook her form once more. It was rather humbling to be next to. “Back when we all roamed the surface, human mages were coveted greatly. They were ministers and leaders among royal families long ago. Some… even held relations with monsters- though this wasn’t just mages. Humans and monsters were not always at odds of course.” You nod, remembering the son mentioned from before.

“Of course, like any human capable of power, I’m sure there were a large amount of those rulers that took it to the head.” You couldn’t help but snark, rage at current events springing to mind. “Either lied through their teeth about loving monsters, or were building the army you mentioned before behind everyone’s backs.”

“Very likely. There are always good people. I believe that firmly. But… such is the case that there are rotten apples in every grove as well.” Toriel nodded sagely, and you couldn’t help but agree. Giving apples a bad name, with their terrible actions. Won’t anyone think of the apples?!

_‘Focus dumbass. Can’t let your mind wander here.’_ You griped to yourself, huffing into your cup.

“Magic from humans has always differed from monsters however, so it is no surprise that even now it has still been the same. Where as monsters can form bullets with their magic, humans accumulated magic from the depths of their being.”  
  


“Our SOULs?” You inquire. Toriel nods.

“Indeed. Human SOULs are normally incapable of such magnitudes of magic, but there were quite the handful of mages that popped up over time. It was questioned whether it was monster kind’s doing, and I must say to have diminished so greatly over time, I wonder if that is true…”

“So… if I hang around long enough I might have more magic well up in my SOUL?” You ask.

Toriel pursed her lips. “There isn’t enough information that I have alone that could answer that, but it’s possible. It would take quite a long time though, if not forcefully administered.”

“Not that I want to become the haunting image of monsters past,” you dryly spoke, chuckling, “But how exactly does one ‘forcefully’ administer?”

“Well,” Toriel prepared an answer, but stopped short, “I… cannot recall.”

Your mind felt slowed and fuzzy; prickly and weird. Everything felt so hyper focused and under stimulated. You blinked.

What had you been talking about?

“Uh,” you scratched the back of your head, looking sheepishly to Toriel, “Sorry, I.. I think I missed what we were talking about just now.”

Toriel stroked her head, looking equally bemused. “That’s… strange. I cannot either. What was the topic again?”

“Uh, magic? Human mages.” You nodded to yourself. That sounded right. “So humans had magic?”

Toriel nodded, reclining in her chair fully. “Correct. Various different types, even further than what you might have seen in your own SOUL.” Toriel sipped her drink. “Your shield you create in the midst of combat is a reflection and reaction to monster magic. It shows that deep down, your kind still know magic, however faintly. Though I must say,” Toriel mused stroking her fluffy chin, “Your shield is quite long. I don’t believe I’ve seen one of that size in quite some time.”

“Yeah?” Excitement filled you. Maybe your divination was a precursor to actual magic? That sounded cool. Terrible ancestry aside of course. But honestly, at what point were humans _not_ terrible to literally everyone in their history?

It would be a long road, but maybe you could make a new version, a better version of a human mage to show to monsters.

Toriel smiles at your excitement, stroking your hair softly. “Could you tell me more about your divination? It sounds intriguing.”

“Oh sure! Uh, I’ve kind of always had it,” you set down your cup, not really having been drinking from it. “It’s not really anything I can control either. It’s hard to tell if it’s just me daydreaming at times, or if it’s a vision too. But I can sometimes foresee what people will do, or something that will happen!”

“And, not to disbelieve you, but do you have instances where you’ve recognized this?”

You nod excitedly. “Oh absolutely! Uh, let’s see…” There were a few things to pick from for sure. “Oh! Whenever someone asked me where they were in their house- over text, and I wasn’t in their house with them- I could accurately describe where they were. There was a time that I could accurately describe what’s in a box just by holding it; same with objects or clothes.”

You pause as Toriel’s eyes not so subtly glance back at the bedroom door you two had left not long ago and shake your head. “No, that wasn’t what I was trying to do. I didn’t ‘see’ anything either. It… just didn’t feel great being in there.”

“I see.” She nodded, that sad look in her eyes. Had she been hoping a little…? You sighed internally. Times like these where you had been more practiced.

“I’ve also had these weird… instances. Things that can’t really be explained.” You twiddle with the sleeve on your right arm, stalling for a moment. “Never really told anyone these things, but uh. At the store, when I was like, really young, I was touching some lamps on a high shelf. One of them was about to fall on me, and I shielded my face… as I did it, it looked like a hand reached out to steady it?” You scratched your arm. “When I looked up again, it was steady, no signs of movement. There wasn’t anyone nearby me either.”

“How strange.” Toriel hummed, smiling. “Even at such a young age though, your first reflex was to shield. It must have been instinctive from your SOUL.”

You shrug, “Eh. I feel like that’d be most people’s reactions when they forget to move out of the way.”

“Nonsense. I once had a young child, a bright orange SOUL. His name was Jayce.” Toriel smiled so lovingly, it warmed you to the core. “Dark brown skin, coiled hair. Missing a front tooth. He was very energetic. No matter what, he would always be so flighty. It was often difficult to get him to rest.”

You laughed along with her, happy to have her reminisce. Always helped when dealing with grief, right?

“Often, you will act as your SOUL is. You and your SOUL are one. Never forget that.”

You purse your lips. “What happens to the people who don’t act like their SOUL is though? You said green was for kindness- what if they often act unkind?”

Toriel shakes her head. “As I said before, you would not have your SOUL as it is if you weren’t true to your trait. Should someone stray from their path, I suppose their SOUL would change into another colour. I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of information pertaining to that though.”

You give a small wave, smiling. “That’s okay! That’s more than what I had.” You perk up, smiling widely over at her. “By the way, I never introduced myself. I’m sorry for that. My name is Allora White. It’s nice to meet you officially, Toriel.”

Toriel blinks before smiling equally as wide. “It’s wonderful to meet you as well Allora. I apologize for not asking before as well.”

You wave her off. “Don’t sweat it! Water under the bridge.” You gather the cups, a tad guilty you didn’t drink much. “Would you like to do something now that you’re home by the way? How about we make some delicious food together!”

Toriel stood to her full height, dwarfing you even at your five foot six / five foot seven frame. “That sounds positively delightful. Do you have any recipes you recall from the surface we could try to make together?”

You nod, leading the way to the kitchen. “Let’s have a look see at what you got, and we’ll take it from there!”

Questions for the moment were put to rest, as the two of you adorned aprons and went to town in the kitchen. Laughing, throwing flour, and enjoying a delicious, homemade pizza together, the two of you relaxed and shared a comfortable evening in the living room, talking about nothing.

_‘Tomorrow.’_ You thought to yourself, munching on a warm, cheesy piece of pizza. _‘Tomorrow I’ll get more answers.’_

Highly aware of the danger lurking outside, you enjoyed the time you had with Toriel.

It’s better to ignore your problems, right?


	10. Hades Wasn't That Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weird therapy, weird thoughts, disconnect. Warning for dissociation at the end!
> 
> Sorry this one took so long to get out, wasn't really satisfied and also couldn't figure out how I wanted to end it. Hopefully the next one is much smoother!

You may be the biggest idiot alive.

It had been a morning full of going over and cross referencing your notes with Toriel’s while she cooked in the kitchen- something about wanting you to try a pie?- and for all you could find, you couldn’t get much information you wanted.

What you were looking for, however, likely wasn’t something you touched upon between Toriel yet anyhow. But with the way the questions seemed to weigh on her, and you wanted her to be able to relax, you figured you’d give her a break. There _were_ other monsters you could ask after all.

So after trying a strangely gooey pie- later informed to be a _snail_ pie that was _definitely_ an acquired taste- you set off to talk to monsters across the Ruins for any bits of information you could find.

Question one; where was the barrier?

“Oh that’s easy, ribbit, ribbit,” a Froggit answered, head bobbing, “The barrier is at the highest peak in the Underground, with our King, located in New Home.”

Question two; what did the SOUL colours mean?

“U-um,” Whimsun stuttered, “We-well… th-they have to do with tr-traits from hu-humans…” Whimsun swallowed a whimper in fear as you carefully stroked the top of its head, cooing quietly. “U-um… I-I’m sorry!! I don’t know much!!”

Question three; Why are monsters intimidated by Toriel?

Despite asking a few individuals, many were tight lipped on that one. Guess they were just _that_ intimidated by her.

Question four…

“You still have a King. What’s he like?” You roll your pencil in between your fingers habitually, trying to focus. “Does he take care of his people? Is he kind?”

“Oh yes, ribbit,” Froggit nods, a gleam of excitement lingering in the depths of its eyes, “Our King is gracious and kind. He has long since cared for us, and has been ruler for some time. His biggest wish is for us all to go free and see the sun once again.”

You chewed your pencil slightly, glancing up through the crater above. You managed to convince a few of the monsters you’d talked to in the beginning from falling down to meet you here to ask some general questions. Some weren’t comfortable following a human, but two Froggits and the Whimsun you sang to agreed at the very least.

The reason you were an absolute idiot was that for the life of you, _you couldn’t think what to ask now that you had them here._ It was absolutely embarrassing to say the least.

_‘Stupid short ass memory,’_ you griped, internally crying, _‘Stupid me not writing things down!’_

The Froggit on your most left- you internally named it Blinky since they blinked so much on both sets of eyes- chirped up after the other- who you named Moe. No reason why. Just sounded nice.

“Our King is a wonderful ruler. He cares for us greatly, and has been here from the start since we were locked away.”

You whistle, running your finger over Whimsun’s head when they flinched. “Sorry. That’s really cool though! To have lived that long, to have continued reign for so long. You guys have a monarchy, do you have to wait until he passes until you choose someone new? I guess that’s more democracy though-” You begin to mumble, but pause at their aghast looks. “What? Something I said?”

“Our King will not pass,” Moe croaked, head bobbing in a manner not unlike shaking a head, “Boss Monsters cannot die unless killed.”

“Whoa, wait, Boss Monsters?” You sit up slightly, jotting it down in your journal. “What’s a Boss Monster? How does that differ from a regular monster?”

Whimsun sniffled and touched your leg softly from where it was sitting. “B-Boss Monsters… are immortal. U-until they're… k-killed- o-or-” They pause, whining quietly, “O-or… until they have a ch-child…”

“Jeez,” you wince, stroking their head again, “That’s a raw deal. Have a family and start dying because of it, or live forever alone.” You pause. “Or with a partner and just never have a kid. But as a ruler you oughta think of having an heir… but I guess for someone who lives eternally…”

“Our King did have children,” Blinky pipes up, ribbiting in between, “But they had perished early in their youth, due to humans and an illness.” You feel your heart clench sympathetically.

“What kind of illness? Was there no medicine or healing magic that could aid with it?”

“I’m afraid, ribbit, I do not have those details…” It was Moe that spoke, but all three monsters looked downcast.

“Hey, that’s okay. I guess that’d be something I’d have to ask Toriel- in case I ever get sick.” They look horrified at the comment, and you hurry to amend yourself when Whimsun looks ready to burst into tears. “I’m not! I’m not sick. Humans just _do_ from time to time. It has to do with microorganisms that can be in the air or in food if it isn’t cooked properly- or as simple as being wet too long.”

“Bu-but-” Whimsun speaks, twisting a small part of your dress in its little itty bitty hands, “But humans a-are so strong! Please d-don’t g-get sick-!!”

You hush them gently, humming a small tune to try and calm them down. It takes quite the minute to do so, but you think it’s because they’re constantly looking upset that makes it hard to tell if they’ve calmed down or not. “I guess we are pretty strong. And adaptable! But don’t worry. I’m pretty healthy, and I’m an adult. It takes a lot more to get us sick than a kid because our bodies have adapted longer.”

Partially satisfying your small crowd, you finish writing up what you’ve learned before snapping your book shut and nodding. “All right, I think that’s enough for today. I’m sorry if my questions upset you at all, I just want to know what I’ve fallen into so I don’t do anything _even more_ upsetting.”

“Think nothing of it human, ribbit.” Blinky responds, nodding its head. “Thank you for taking the time to chat with us. It’s nice to be able to do so.”

  
  
“Yes, meow,” Moe continues- surprising you with its small mew from the face below- “Sharing information is often vital to the success of anyone after all.”

You grin and nod, “You’re absolutely right! Knowing is half the battle.” You recline against the wall, sighing softly as you stare up towards the opening above you again. It smelled like it was getting colder again, as if it would be close to snowing soon. It _was_ getting to be that time of the year, but so early in fall? You wondered not for the first time where you were located on the surface, and how you got here.

“U-um, hu-human-?” You looked down to Whimsun who let go of your dress and floated next to you. You automatically lifted your finger like a perch for them to rest on, and they slowly took to it with a wobbly smile. “C-could- w-would it be- o-okay?? If I asked f-for- for-”

“-a song?” You cut off, smiling softly. At their shy nod, you laughed. “Sure. Anything in particular you wanna hear?”

“You sing, human?” Blinky and Moe looked equally in awe at you, heads bobbing in unison.

You nodded. “Yep! I sang to Whimsun here to calm them from a panic when we first encountered each other. If you have any requests for a type of song, I’ll do my best!”

“Types of songs, ribbit?”

“Genre, I mean. So like, a lullaby, a ballad, rock and roll, anything like that.” You thought for a moment before tilting your head. “You guys have music, right?”

It felt like all three of the monsters were laughing at you after you asked, and you couldn’t help but pout. “Hey hey, I just wanted to make sure. Never know with an entirely new culture _and_ species. Could be that songs are taboo.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” Moe bobbled, “Please forgive us human. We do have music, but it is just interesting to hear about it from humans. All of your songs are from the surface correct?” You nod. “Please, share with us, anything you’d like.”

“Uh, okay. You sure you don’t want anything specific?” You tapped your cheek to think at their united ‘negative,’ unsure what to think of to sing. Songs on the spot are hard after all.

You look around the room to give you an idea. Flowers, sunlight, a swirling cavern up to the surface…

You snap your fingers in your free hand, grinning. “Aha! I got it. So, this comes from human mythos, a story of gods from aeons ago. It’s actually pertaining to mortals in the song, but the story goes; a man made a deal with Hades, the lord of the Underworld. He governed the dead, and hailed control whether souls come and go to and from the mortal world.

"A young man finds his way into the Underworld- without dying- and begs for the life of his beloved back from the dead,” your eyes are cast up from your captive audience, raising your free hand to the “sky” above, “Hades, at first, wants to reject it, saying she had died and it was final that her soul was to belong in a part of the Underworld. But Hades’ wife, Persephone, caught wind of the sad mortal man’s tale, and convinced Hades to take part in a bet with the mortal.”

“A bet between a god and a mortal?” Blinky asked, blinking their wide eyes. “That sounds… intimidating.”

“For sure,” you nod, “The man accepted though. The rules were set. He was to walk all the way back he had came, from the entrance he found into the pits of the Underworld, without looking back once. His beloved would be at his back the entire way, and if he made it through, her soul would be returned to the mortal realm in her beloved’s arms once again.

“But he was a stupid mortal,” you scowled high into the cavern’s ‘ceiling,’ pointing above, “For he had made it near entirely to the end. All the way from Tartarus, he walked. But curiousity beguiled him. He wanted to see for himself that he wasn’t being tricked, but could not wait long enough for the potential to be true.”

“No!” Whimsun cried out, hiding behind your hand-perch and peeking above it just slightly, quivering. You nodded gravely.

“He looked. Just before he made it to the surface, he peeked just behind his shoulder. Behind him was the almost formed beloved that was taken from him- and she recoiled in agony as her soul dissipated in front of him, retching about his failure. Per the contract, her soul was returned to Asphodel, and after the mortal’s death, he was taken in by Hades as his court bard, forced to play songs without his muse and not to see her after death, for all eternity.”

Whimsun flew up to your neck and curled up there, sobbing quietly. Surprised, you half curled your hand over them, glancing at the two Froggits. They leaned close together, looking incredibly sad.

_‘Whoa, okay, wow.’_ You couldn’t help but try to give a comforting smile, knowing it came out really awkward. _‘No more stories like that. Seems like monsters are a fragile bunch.’_

“It- it’s okay guys. It’s just mythos. These are really old stories, passed on for generations, and so farfetched, it’s likely to just be a story. It’s okay!” You awkwardly cleared your throat as Whimsun huddled close, hiccupping quietly to themselves. The Froggits even huddled close for comfort. “Would you still like to hear the song? O-or I could choose a happier one-”

“N-no, pl-please,” Whimsun sniffled, rubbing their eyes, “I-I wan-want to h-hear it…”

“We do as well, ribbit,” Blinky and Moe croaked, bobbing their heads in affirmation. You hesitated before nodding, stroking Whimsun’s back comfortingly.

“All right, if you’re sure…” You clear your throat again, making sure your sat up properly, and going through the tune in your head, humming it quietly. It’d been a while since you’d heard the song, but you think you got it.

You begin the tune by humming the intro, swaying slowly side to side, cupping Whimsun’s body to keep them from falling. “Hear, o gods, my desperate plea… To see my love beside me…”

Humming, you trail your hands to pat the Froggits as well. “Sunk below the mortal sea… Her anchor weighs upon me! Fasten her tether unto me… That she may rise to sail free.

“Don't~! Don't look back!” You close your eyes, envisioning the progression of the song in your mind, the beats, the tempo, the instruments. The harp, the lute, the anguish in the tone of the story itself.

“Close enough that light we can see… My doubt betrays the better of me. A glance to the stern is all it would be. That anguished shade shall haunt me~!”

A breath-

“E~ever on!” Your voice is growing, and pulling back, rubber banding proper per the song, “Calm seas…. Winds a-lee. But now the squall's upon us; We're foundering!”

Inhale-

_“Drowning~!”_ The height and length of the crescendo fills the cavern, reverberating off the walls. You can hardly believe that’s your own voice- as haunting and echoing as it is, sounding like so many shades and souls whispering alongside you in song- filling your own ears and what feels like your SOUL.

“Don't look back; Don't look back…”

You recline your head slightly, as you lower your pitch and slowly fade out from the song.

“Don't look back; Don't look back; Don't... look... _back...”_

Petering out, the cavern slowly filled with silence once more, voice slowly stopping the echo from the high walls and large empty space. The monsters around you were staring, mouths slightly agape. You felt your body grow warm, face flushing, and body prickling.

Stage fright.

“W-was that okay?” You mumble self consciously, plucking at the dress before stopping yourself. It was too nice to ruin. “Sorry if I was too loud, I kind of forgot I was in a cave-”

“That was beautiful.” Blinky croaked, far more tucked up to your side than you recall. Moe was practically on your lap. Whimsun was snuggled up to your neck; you could hear them sniffling.

“Did you see-?” Moe began before Whimsun began to wail. You flinch at the sharp noise next to your ear before trying to calm them down.

“I-I-” They hiccupped, shaking their head as you moved them to your palms to see them better. “S-so… pre-pretty…!”

You were flustered for various reasons now, doing your best to calm them. “Shh, shh, it’s okay. Thank you, that’s… very kind of you to say. I really appreciate it.”

You cradle the Whimsun in one hand before gently patting the two Froggits. Blinky and Moe give off quiet meows before hopping slightly away, seemingly more aware of their closer presence. Whimsun eventually calms down enough to do the same.

“We should best be heading off,” Moe ribbits, “Toriel begins making her rounds around this time.”

“Ah, okay. Well, thank you! I might ask you guys to come here again if I have more questions- if that’s okay?” At their nods, you smile brightly and wave. “I hope you guys have a great day, thank you so much for your help!”

Your trio of cute monsters wave shyly before bounding off into the Ruins halls, leaving you sitting alone. You blow air between your lips to make them bounce like a door stopper, deflating. Well, now what? You only learned so much. And it defeated the purpose to have to ask Toriel when you did this to _avoid_ asking her-

“How did you do that?”  
  


“GAH!” You flinch hard, throwing your journal to the wayside and looking around. He was hard to make out between the other flowers, but you eventually saw him.

Flowey.

He snickered at you as you pouted and put a hand over your heart. “Jesus. Give a girl some warning.” You stood and cracked your neck, back, and arms, before going to where you flung your journal.

“Ew, what was that?” You turn to see Flowey’s features scrunched up in disgust. You snorted. Children.

“I popped my bones. It’s actually releasing the tension of the air molecules between my bones, which echo out a noise.” You pop your thumbs to show it, realizing that this was the same flower that was threatening you with death not a few hours ago. _‘Dunno what made him so curious all of a sudden, but at least he’s not antagonistic. Yet.’_

“That’s so gross. Why would you do that? Does it hurt?” You chuckled softly, sitting down next to the patch of flowers, gliding your fingers over the soft petals.

“Sometimes it gets really tense and it’ll hurt for a moment, but otherwise, it’s actually very relieving. I do it to reduce anxiety, or as someone once told me, it was a tick. I kind of have to do it, or I get really agitated over time.”

“Weird,” he stared at your hands for a moment before blinking and shaking his head. “You still never answered me before! What was that thing you did? While you were singing?”

“Uh,” you pause, glancing up at him. He seemed serious. “You’re going to have to clarify a little, bud. Did what exactly?”

He rolled his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe you were so stupid. “The _glow,_ you idiot! You were glowing. Was that from your SOUL? How can you have magic?”

“Whoa whoa, hold on.” You held out your hands to pause the onslaught of questions. “I didn’t see any glowing when I had my eyes open, so you’re going to have to maybe chalk that up as like… I don’t know. Monster vision?” You shrugged. “As far as I know, I don’t have any magic. Aside from divination. But that’s really pushing it. And… was it green? That’d probably define if it was from my SOUL.”

“So you weren’t aware of it…” He mumbled under his breath, eyebrows crinkled. Amazing how you were used to that. And how he hasn’t threatened you with anything worse than calling you an idiot.

_‘Five stars. Today is great.’_ You barely restrain a chuckle. That probably would have set him off, thinking you were laughing at him.

“Listen. I know you were asking monsters for answers. _I_ know everything there is to know in the Underground.” His cocky smirk was back on his face, and you sighed internally. “All I need in return-”

“Is for me to sign away my SOUL to you, blah, blah, blah.” You waved your hand flippantly in the air, scowling. “No, Ursula. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

He seemed surprised; wide eyed, staring at you. You bit the inside of your cheek hard to keep from smiling or laughing. Now is not the time brain! He seemed to recover with a signature scowl.

“I was actually going to say you had to kill Toriel to do it. Do you interrupt everyone you talk to?”

“It’s the mental disorder.” You deadpan, reclining back on your hands. He stared harder, and you can’t fight your chuckle this time. “Listen. I highly disbelieve that killing that incredibly sweet woman who made me a birthday pie and has given me _her home_ is the only way to get out of here. So no.” You hold up a hand to stop him from talking as you continue. “And anyhow, why are you so damn intent on trying to kill or get me to kill anyone and everyone, anyways?”

Flowey groans. “You’re so _insufferable._ Everything down here is insufferable.”

His stem grows slightly, not even close to be able to tower over you, but just enough to extend in your direction, staring you in the face. “Down here, it’s kill or be killed. Don’t you get it? Your _Kindness_ is only going to hurt you in the end. You’ll make all these precious little friends, and one day, it’ll bite you, and leave you for dead.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

His entire form froze. Eyes unblinking, as they slowly formed into disbelief and anger. Fury. There was a heat in his eyes, but you could tell from personal experience, at the very least some of it was self directed.

“You. Don’t. Know. Me.”

You nod, trying to remain unphased. “Correct, I really don’t. But you also don’t know me. I’m not here to kill anyone. I’m not here to hurt anyone. I fell down or was pushed down, or something. I don’t even know where I am, surface side. What country I’m in, if I’m even near _home._ And you know what?”

You lean in extra close, nose nearly touching his face. He recoils, watching you warily.

“I don’t have a single. Damn. Person. Who’s out there looking for me. I should be dead down here. But I’m lucky enough to be alive. And I won’t waste it. You shouldn’t either.”

He flinches, and snarls. “What do _you_ know?!” He thrashes slightly, growling becoming near demonic. “Ugh! You’re some stupid human who fell down! You don’t know _anything!_ ”

“I know you’re alone.” You count off, standing to your feet. “I know you mask your sense of insecurity with hatred and anger. If you had anyone you used to rely on, you tossed them aside ages ago, simply because you think you’re better off alone. You try to get people angry at you because anger is the only emotion you’re fucking good at, the only one where people will actually pay attention to you!”

His eyes are wide as he trembles, stem curled back; watching you. “H-how do you know all of that? How could you possibly know _any_ of that?!”

You stop and clench your fists, giving him a bitter smile. “Because I was talking about _me.”_

He gives pause, blinking. He really looks like a scared kid, who’s so confused. You plop right back down and sigh; laying on your back. He slowly peers over you, confusion drowning his anger.

“Listen. You’re really not alone in feeling the way you do, I’m sure of it. Whatever made you this way, whatever makes you angry, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what you’ll do because it’s what I’d do too. Sans murdering anyone.” You roll your eyes, arms crossed behind your head as you partially ‘sunbathe.’

Flowey is very quiet as he lowers himself down next to you, peering up at the sun.

“You’re really weird.”

“I know.”

You and Flowey just stayed quiet for some, just thinking to yourselves. For as murderous as the monster seemed, he at least seemed better after the entirely too weird venting session. It was a wonder you weren’t a therapist for how many times you’ve had to do this for people.

Eventually, as you were near dozing, he huffed quietly and left you alone. You took it as a sign that it was getting late, and got up to head back to Toriel.

As you left, you ended up bumping into her in the doorway.

“Oh!” She stopped short from walking into you, surprised, before smiling. “My apologies, I did not think you would be here! Were you enjoying yourself?”  
  


Not wanting to bring up someone else’s issues, you nodded. “Yeah, I was sunbathing as best I could for a while, but I started to fall asleep. Thought it would be a good time to head home, haha.”

“Oh I see.” She shuffles for a moment, hesitating.

You blink and tilt your head. “Something wrong? Did you need me to stay?”

“Oh heavens! No, no. I am happy you are enjoying your time alone. I simply was curious…” She looks around the room towards the flowers. “I heard the other monsters talking about someone singing. Did you happen to hear anyone…?”

You can’t help the flush that covers your face, but you hold a hand to your face anyhow. “Oh god. Yes. That was me.”

“Really? They were very impressed, please do not worry about any negativity!” Toriel patted your shoulder, a wide grin on her face. “I must say I’m quite surprised, you had never mentioned it before.”

You sigh, stepping back and reclining on the wall. Grounding yourself from the embarrassment that burned your face and thudded your heart in your chest. “Sorry, I uh… it’s usually a thing where when you say you can sing, people want to hear you, and it’s a little uh… embarrassing.”

Toriel chuckled and nodded. “A fair assessment indeed. I certainly can admit that I would likely have asked to hear you as well. But please, whenever you’d like to- if at all- I’d love to hear you. The way the others spoke of you, it has certainly piqued my curiousity!”

_‘Shriveling up and dying_ does _sound good right now.’_ You sass inside your head, nodding. “Ah, yeah. No worries at all. Uh- I’m not keeping you from anything am I?”

Toriel shakes her head. “Not at all! I simply like to look at the insects that gather on the buttercups here. They are quite fascinating!”

You couldn’t help but smile at her excitement at the thought of bugs. It was very cute. However, your thoughts keep trailing back to Flowey. What did he mean ‘fake house’ and why does he want you to kill her so much? She’s just an old lady living her best life.

“Um…” You scratch the back of your head. “Mind if I hang out with you while you do?” You of course had ulterior motivations. What did Flowey hate about her so much?

Normally you wouldn’t care but.... Not only was this someone you were living with, this was a new place entirely. If someone wasn’t safe to be with, it’d be best to know.

Toriel looked beside herself despite anything else, and you could only feel all the guilt in your stomach gnawing at you. Stupid guilt.

“Why, I would be delighted! Perhaps I can learn new things as well as teach you.” She took your hand and rattled off in conversation, but you couldn’t help but tune her out as you thought to yourself.

You needed to find out what exactly was going on. You weren’t the first human to fall down here, over the course of thousands of years, they had about six SOULs to themselves. At least, you assumed they had the SOULs somewhere, waiting to break that barrier.

What was the real reason monsters were sealed away? It couldn’t have been as simplistic as a marriage fault, humans were shitty but there had to be something underlying under way.

What exactly were monsters? The small lessons you’ve had with Toriel told you they were magic, but was it like Final Fantasy mana type shit that was derived from the earth itself or was it something more?

Why was Flowey a murder hobo? Who was Chara, and why did he sense them inside your SOUL? How did you get here- where _were_ you?

...What was the glowing when it came to you singing? Would Toriel find it weird or dangerous? Flowey said you had magic, and while you had been slightly prepared for that, Toriel said you would have to wait a few _years_ for it to form. Was it just budding then? What could you even do with it?

“-... and this is the best spot to see any insects that fly down-” Toriel was still rambling slightly, and you blankly look around the area. Small ladybugs and grasshoppers were suddenly more apparent in the flowers than before. You resist the urge to rub yourself down from having laid in that patch more than once.

What happened to you up there, and what led you to falling down this hole? You felt yourself disconnecting from reality as you saw your hand move along the flowers and only somewhat felt the petals under your hand. Reality was bearing down on your mind, weighing almost your SOUL down with questions and concerns about life.

God, what even was this life? Trapped, with no one to find you.

But you were still _found_ somehow. By supposedly nonexistent monsters. That can cast magic. And you can too. And there were dead humans somewhere down here. And their SOULs. And a magical barrier that _magical_ _beings_ couldn’t break, but _you could-_

You stiffen slightly as the thought trailed in your mind. You could literally free them. But knowing how terrible it was and had been for the past year- _many years_ if you were quite honest- you know they wouldn’t last, so what was the _point_ -

“My dear?” Toriel gently placed her paw on your shoulder, causing you to flinch. She pulled back slightly before resting her hand more heavily on you. Grounding. Reassuring.

Did you really deserve that kind of support?

“Sorry,” the lies forming on your lips with ease. “Just lost in thought. I’m a little tired.”

Tired of living, tired of lying, tired of life itself.

Tired, tired, tired; the depression filled lie.

“Please do not push yourself. I don’t want you overexerting yourself. Would you like to head home?” You shook your head, but scooted over. Selfishly laying against her side and sighing. Your guilt only increased as she trailed her nails against her scalp; she was a _stranger._ You shouldn’t be like this with her. She wasn’t your parent and she shouldn’t have to comfort you like this.

You push away your thoughts and bury your face into her side- as she was still much bigger than you, and you could only reach so high- letting out another sigh. “...Talk to me? Tell me your favourite insect… or flower…”

You could taste Toriel’s worry on your tongue and it curdled in your stomach. You just wanted to ignore everything. Pretend. Pretending was so easy. It hurt less, and hurt others less too.

“My favourite insect would have to be these little ones here, with the long limbs. They often meld in with the dew gathered on the flower’s petals, and look quite silly. They give off a wonderful shine when they sunbathe as well.” Her nails were gliding against your scalp, so gentle, careful not to scratch or injure you.

It was lulling. Hearing her talk, feeling the vibration through her body, the nails on your scalp, peace filling you somewhat as your eyes lull...

And soon shut into a sun, flower, and insect filled dream, all friends and dancing like a cartoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) in this chapter:
> 
> Orpheus' Lament - Hades - Darren Korb

**Author's Note:**

> You can find my Tumblr to bug me about this story here: https://kagedbird.tumblr.com
> 
> And my Twitter to ignore me here: https://twitter.com/KagedBird21


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